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What they say/(what they actually mean)


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"He talks a good game"

 

Basically the manager says the right thing to the press and comes across the right way but ultimately I'm bored so in the absence of someone spending 10s of millions on us if we sack yet another manager I'm hoping all our problems will vanish into thin air.

 

"Go hard or go home"

 

Go hard for now but the first decent offer I have comes my way you won't see me for dust.

Edited by GlossopLatic
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"The players were disappointing on the day"

"They all want shooting" (a manager actually said that)

 

"He's a good player to have in the squad"

"He's our regular substitute we never bring on unless in dire straights"

 

"He's still learning his trade"

"He hasn't had a good game yet"

 

"The better the opposition the better we play"

"We have now lost to all our relegation rivals"

 

"We are striving for a mid table position"

"We will do well to finish in a mid table position"

 

"He has a great left foot"

"He can't kick with his right foot at all"

 

"The keeper is a great shot stopper"

"The keeper is hopeless on crosses"

 

"He can be a little overzealous with his tackling"

He's liable for at least 4 red cards and 20 yellows this season"

Edited by BP1960
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"He has built up a really strong relationship with the chairman and no-one else can do the job."

 

"He thinks you are all Oiks, who don't know how to behave amongst other Oiks that run football teams, and when he pops his clogs I'm already down as his successor"

Edited by rudemedic
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We've had our eye on him for a while - "I owed his agent a big favour"

 

"We have had our eye on him for a while"

 

Prolific goalscorer Lee Gregory is no better than the wingers we have got.

Edited by BP1960
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  • 1 year later...

"As for Gavin Gunning, who remains on trial at the club, the Chronicle understands a final decision will be made soon. His leadership qualities have impressed, but the ex-Birmingham man still appears short of full match fitness."

 

...means:

 

'He's gash but good at delegating the blame'

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"As for Gavin Gunning, who remains on trial at the club, the Chronicle understands a final decision will be made soon. His leadership qualities have impressed, but the ex-Birmingham man still appears short of full match fitness."

 

...means:

 

'He's gash but good at delegating the blame'

Does he take over Sean Gregan's title of Mr Pointy Man.

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I think my most hated from my ever increasing list of :censored:ty, generic, vapid commentary phrases is ‘using his experience’

I.e ‘X player.. uses his experience there to draw a clever foul’

 

Translation – ‘He’s fallen over like a massive tart under minimal pressure and held onto the ball until the ref blew for a foul’

 

Also applies to teams, but only if the narrative pits a super duper EPL bestest league ever side grinding out a result against some plucky lower league chancers – when Tottenham were drawing 2-2 at Bramall Lane in the league cup semi 2nd leg, with 2 mins to go, the BBC sagely advised us Spurs were ‘using their Premier League Experience’ to see out the game. That’s right, their ‘Premier League Experience’ couldn’t stop them going 2-1 down, but they know how to stand in the corner and fall over when they’re scraping a draw against a side 2 divisions below them. #experience

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