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Simon Corney on Latics World


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Disappointed to lose Macca, probably the least troublesome player they've known

TTA not going anywhere, sick of saying it

NSM SHOULD be coming down in June, one or two hurdles remain

Shez not been given a budget yet, but players will be bought but MUST be right for the club

Expects to see 3 or 4 arrive (not enough imo)

Enquiries made re: Chris Taylor. Corney expects him to still be here next season unless a crazy offer is submitted

Season Ticket sales so far encouraging, hope fans will continue to back the club

Gordon Lawton will not be Crossley's understudy next season

Corney gained a tan scouting in Brazil, players apparently weren't good enough!

Edited by oafcprozac
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Disappointed to lose Macca, probably the least troublesome player they've known

TTA not going anywhere, sick of saying it

NSM SHOULD be coming down in June, one or two hurdles remain

Shez not been given a budget yet, but players will be bought but MUST be right for the club

Expects to see 3 or 4 arrive (not enough imo)

Enquiries made re: Chris Taylor. Corney expects him to still be here next season unless a crazy offer is submitted

Season Ticket sales so far encouraging, hope fans will continue to back the club

Gordon Lawton will not Crossley's understudy next season

Corney gained a tan scouting in Brazil, players apparently weren't good enough!

 

all as i excepted beside since when has corney been a scout? lol

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Gordon Lawton will not Crossley's understudy next season

 

What!? He's going to be first choice keeper? a step back. Shez out.

 

Sounds good what SC has said. Responsible and realistic.

Ideally I too would like more than 3/4 coming in but let's wait and see what transpires - quality is more important than quantity.

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If we are only bringing 3 or 4 in, presumably it means nobody else is leaving? We can’t base the budget on the level of injuries we had this season or we’d end up with a squad of 45 crap players. It’s the big if, but if Hughes and Davies come back fully fit, and we get something out of Thompson then we’ll be a hell of a lot stronger as a squad from the word go. Add to that the progress the kids have made and that’s at least two players who you wouldn’t have expected much first team action from at the start of last season who will definitely feature next. Plus we’ll have no soft tissue injuries. And players won’t be made to wait 6 weeks before being sent for an operation they should have gone for straight away, no names mentioned, but they have been stalked by Gemma and Inspiral. If the signings are good enough quality that might be enough to see us through.

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No, my computer is not plugged in, neither is the telly thing that shows the pictures or what I type.

 

An oldie but goodie:-

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

 

“Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”

 

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

 

“What sort of trouble?”

 

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

 

“Went away?”

 

“They disappeared.”

 

“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Nothing?”

 

“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

 

“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

 

“How do I tell?”

 

“Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?”

 

“What’s a sea-prompt?”

 

“Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?”

 

“There isn’t any cursor, I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

 

“Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

 

“What’s a monitor?”

 

“It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”

 

“Yes, I think so.”

 

“Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”

 

“…….Yes, it is.”

 

“When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”

 

“…….Okay, here it is.”

 

“Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”

 

“I can’t reach.”

 

“Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”

 

“No.”

 

“Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

 

“Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle - it’s because it’s dark.”

 

“Dark?”

 

“Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

 

“Well, turn on the office light then.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“No? Why not?”

 

“Because there’s a power outage.”

 

“A power… A power outage? Ah, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”

 

“Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

 

“Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

 

“Really? Is it that bad?”

 

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

 

“Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

 

“Tell them you’re too stupid to own a computer.”

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