Diego_Sideburns Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Just had a thought! An angry local resident who’s a keen Gardner set on trying to make the club abandon its redevelopment plans and search for a foreign field? The pitch is certainly vulnerable with easy access during darkness while the demolition work takes place, and will not be as secure as it used to be when the hoardings are erected round the cleared site. It must be a concern that the pitch is not perfect and the Rugby play on it this week, followed by two friendlies before the Millwall game. Perhaps turf patches will have to be used to cover the bald bits - it will then be as good bad as the Old Trafford pitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 It's getting like the Fast Show's Ted & Ralph this with the "problems in the lower field". I can see Alan and Shez stood on the edge of the upper tier of the main stand looking out over the pitch, Alan looking mournful, Shez looking like he would rather be anywhere else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspiral_Carpet Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 It's getting like the Fast Show's Ted & Ralph this with the "problems in the lower field". I can see Alan and Shez stood on the edge of the upper tier of the main stand looking out over the pitch, Alan looking mournful, Shez looking like he would rather be anywhere else. A few seasons ago, Ronnie Moore could have emerged from his "office" and contributed with the wise words, "today, I will be mostly drinking vodka mixed with weedkiller". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 It's getting like the Fast Show's Ted & Ralph this with the "problems in the lower field". I can see Alan and Shez stood on the edge of the upper tier of the main stand looking out over the pitch, Alan looking mournful, Shez looking like he would rather be anywhere else. What odds on Alan deciding that a ritual sacrifice to the Pitch-Gods is the only solution? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 What odds on Alan deciding that a ritual sacrifice to the Pitch-Gods is the only solution? I can't see this working as surely he has been doing this every full moon since time immemorial? If it hasn't worked so far it won't work now, unless the dark lord is really not pleased! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaticsPete Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 I can't see this working as surely he has been doing this every full moon since time immemorial? If it hasn't worked so far it won't work now, unless the dark lord is really not pleased! He obviously needs to up the offering . A new born from a flame haired Derker maid just isn't cutting the mustard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 He obviously needs to up the offering . A new born from a flame haired Derker maid just isn't cutting the mustard. I think he needs to actually let the blood fall onto the pitch rather than drinking it fresh from the victim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 I think he needs to actually let the blood fall onto the pitch rather than drinking it fresh from the victim. But if he doesn't drain the newborn then his life force isn't fully replenished! We don't want what happened last time to occur again, especially now that Strivens has closed down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 But if he doesn't drain the newborn then his life force isn't fully replenished! We don't want what happened last time to occur again, especially now that Strivens has closed down. Clearly we need the Bison to lead a campaign for an increase in Oldham’s birth rate. With our early lead in test tube science we should really have them rolling off the production in sufficient quantities for both demonic sacrifice and executive snacking. Maybe people could get a discounted season ticket or some Club Points for handing over their bundles of joy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy_b_100 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Thats because he is looking for virgins on Derker ......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Perhaps this is the culprit. BBC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 Clearly we need the Bison to lead a campaign for an increase in Oldham’s birth rate. With our early lead in test tube science we should really have them rolling off the production in sufficient quantities for both demonic sacrifice and executive snacking. Maybe people could get a discounted season ticket or some Club Points for handing over their bundles of joy? It would certainly cut down the menace of KNIFE CRIME if all first borns were pushed through the special door in BP under cover of darkness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boundaryblue80 Posted July 15, 2008 Share Posted July 15, 2008 The pitch is certainly vulnerable with easy access during darkness while the demolition work takes place, and will not be as secure as it used to be when the hoardings are erected round the cleared site. Lol....if thieves can nicked shedloads of copper wiring (see Dec 2007) from under our noses, I'd suggest anyone could easily get into BP at any time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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