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Latic fan's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)


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Well you did ask Royton Blue Lad! Never pass up a chance to dust down and roll out any old bit of tat I say :)

 

With apologies to

click if you don't have a clue what this is about. Oh and thanks to the Ayr United fanzine from where I originally blagged it 7 years ago.

 

 

 

Oldham Athletic fans are free to wear sunscreen,

 

Wear sunscreen for the first match of the season.

 

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it…

 

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own footballing experience.

 

I will dispense this advice now.

 

Enjoy the pace and enthusiasm of your youth team.Never mind their naivety.

They will not understand the power and beauty of youth until they graduate to the first team.

But trust me,in 20 years you'll look back at team photos and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before your team, and how naff their hairstyles were.

 

Phil Salt was not as fat as you imagined.

 

Don't worry about relegation.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to win matches by wearing your lucky pants.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your mind, unpredictable results that blindside you at 4:50 on some idle Saturday afternoon.

 

Do one thing every season thar scares you.

 

Sing.

 

Don't sing racist or who the f**kin'ell are you songs, don't put up with people who do.

 

Floss.

 

Don't waste your money on bookies, sometimes you're winning but mostly you're not.

The season is long, its a marathon not a sprint.

 

Remember great performances.

Forget the insults of Wycombe and Rotherham.If you succeed in doing this tell me how.

 

Keep your old programmes, don't throw away your old ticket stubs.

 

Stretch.

 

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what formation suits your squad. The most interesting people I know didn't know how to player a sweeper at 22. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

 

Get a discounted season ticket in May.

 

Go to as many games as you can. You'll miss them at the end of the season.

 

Maybe you'll slip back into the relegation battle, maybe you won't.

 

Maybe you'll have a chance of making the play offs, maybe you won't.

 

Maybe you'll get relegated two seasons on the trot

 

Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken as you retain the FA Cup.

 

Whatever you do don't congratulate your team too much, or berate them either.

Your results depend on our strikers taking their half chances.

So do everybody else's.

 

Enjoy you're football.

Be proud of your allegiance and don't be afraid of it or what others think of it.

They ARE by far the greatest team the world has ever seen.

Dance when your team score, even if your watching the match in your front room.

 

Read the matchday programmes directions before setting off to away matches, even if like Barlows coaches you don't understand them.

 

Do not read articles about the rugby messing up the pitch, it will only depress you.

 

Go to the match with your Dad.

You never know when he'll be gone for good.

 

Be nice to your siblings, even if they want to watch manyounighted.

They are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

 

Understand that friends come and go, but you should keep in touch with those who used to go to the match with you. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

 

Watch city once, but leave before it makes you hard.

 

Watch bury once, but leave before it makes you soft.

 

Travel.

 

Accept certain inalienable truths:

 

Ticket prices WILL rise.

Players WILL leave.

You too, WILL get old.

 

And when you do you'll fantasise that when you were young ticket prices were reasonable, players stayed at one club for life and kids grew up supporting their local team.

 

Support you local team.

 

Don't expect anybody to bankroll your team.

Maybe they'll have a lot of money from television rights.

Maybe they'll have a wealthy benefactor.

But you never know when either one might run out.

 

Don't buy every new strip or by the time you're 40 you'll have 85.

 

Be careful who you talk to about football, but be patient with those who talk to you.

Footballing anecdotes are a form of nostalgia.

Telling them is a way of fishing the past from the waste disposal, wiping it down, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

 

But trust me on Keepin the faith.

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Guest oa_exile
Go to the match with your Dad.

You never know when he'll be gone for good.

 

Don't buy every new strip or by the time you're 40 you'll have 85.

 

Correct , he used to pay me in , now I pay him in :)

 

Not far off :shock:

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So it's your fault!?

 

Tsk.

 

Good work Stipe :grin:

 

 

Well possibly, but it seems the FA and FL have worked at their usual speed and taken 7 years to pick up on it :)

 

 

I promise never ever to involve meself in such dubious self aggrandisement ever again, definitely, maybe!

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Footballing anecdotes are a form of nostalgia.

Telling them is a way of fishing the past from the waste disposal, wiping it down, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than its worth.

 

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be, but I do my best. :grin:

 

Great post Stipey!

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  • 2 years later...

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