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What petty things annoy you about football?


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Defending players clapping the linesman for flagging an offside goal.

 

Players feigning injury - especially those who fall to the floor holding their faces, after the slap/headbutt clearly missed by couple of feet.

 

David Pleat - he is eye-spinningly mad.

 

Oh, and post match interviews. Apart from that one with Glenn Hoddle and Chris Waddle years ago, "Well, I just tw***ed it"

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Chant-wise - I really dislike the "Just a mall Town in..."

 

As for diving - whilst dropping like a sack of spuds from the merest waft of air is annoying, it doesn't bother me half as much as feigning injury (especially when its made to like an unfair assault i.e. grabbing the face and going down). For me they should be willing to use video evidence retrospectively to issue red cards for this - would soon sort it out.

 

Another (despite the above) the call for video technology from managers and pundits alike to be used during the game. No, no, and for a 3rd time no. It will disrupt the flow of the game and also I like the irractic nature of dodgey decisions - its something to talk about and also make you feel better when you lose (We was robbed!).

 

Players waving imaginary cards to referees to get opponents booked/sent off

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Whistle happy Refs.

 

Yellow cards for nothing challenges, which IMO has seen football become less physically competitive.

 

That you cant have 7 subs in our league but you can in the cup and premiership.

 

The ridiculous cost involved in watching football these days.

 

All seater stadiums.

 

Refs who will give fouls outside the box but then bottle it for the exact same foul in the penalty area.

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the rule where if a player needs treatment he then has to go off and run round to the halfway line before being allowed back on.just let them get up dust them down and get on with it.

 

substitutions with 1 minute remaining......

 

If big Joe would have done that in 1994 with a minute to go we would have got to the cup final!!!!!

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Off topic but equally petty, wtf is Cheryl Cole doing on X Factor? (Apart from looking like she needs a damn good shagging by a REAL man...)

:getmecoat:

 

WTF are you doing watching X-Factor?

 

Is her involvement in the best marriage of convenience since Rock Hudson got together with his agents secretary now over?

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In fact, this thread is summed up perfectly by Half Man Half Biscuit's The Referee's Alphabet. My particular favourite is in bold.

 

The A is for my authority

which many players seem to question,

thinking theyre somehow going to make me change my mind

 

 

B is for babies

which a lot of managers cry like

after a decision has not gone their way

 

C is for the continual criticism i recieve from the touchline

get back in your technical area!

 

 

D is for the dunderheads

who seem to think we have a conspiracy

against their particular team

 

 

E is for the eery silence that echoes around the ground

after I've booked the home teams player

and its obvious to everyone that he deserved it

 

 

F is the farce into which most games would descend if we werent there

 

 

The G is for the gnarled face of someone whos on �90,000 a week

and reckoned he should have had a throw in

 

 

H is for handball

which has to be intentional and very rarely is

if only people would study the rules more

 

 

I is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender

after theyve just scythed down that tricky winger

 

 

J is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley

and some of the narky blerts ive encountered

 

 

K is for the kissing of the badge

how ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club

 

 

L is for lip reading, at which you dont need to be an expert

to see how odious some people are

 

 

M is for the mistakes we sometimes make

surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal

 

 

The N, the N is for the numbskull who during the boxing day game

asks me what else i got for christmas besides my whistle

'...an afternoon with your wife mate'

 

 

The O is for offside

which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been

 

 

The P is for the penalty shootout

great drama and no pressure on me

 

 

Q is the quiet word i sometimes need to have

with some of the more fiery participants

I usually choose the word 'pleat'

 

 

R is for running backwards

a difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate

 

 

S is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort

to a player whos just been awarded a free kick...

sorry i got all that wrong the S again

okay the S, the S is the suggestion that i should show a card to an opponent

by a player whos been awarded a free kick

he himself is more in danger of getting one for that

 

 

T is for the 21 man brawl

which is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving

 

 

U is for the umpire which i sometimes wish id been instead

you never hear a cricket crowd shouting whos the bastard in the hat

 

 

The V is for vitriol, vilification, vendetta and volley of verbal abuse

some good bird noises there by the way

 

 

W is for walter pidgeon

whos mr Griffiths in 'how green was my valley'

i may have started to sound like during this song

'where was the light i thought to see in your eye'

he says that to a young huw played by roddy McDowall

 

 

The X

The X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy potugese center half

who i just dismissed

 

 

The Y is for Yate

the kind of town referees come from

 

 

And the Z

Well the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff

Even Zondervan

but is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work

without this zest for the game we wouldnt become refs

and without refs, well zero

See also Zatopek, Zeus

and Zeal Monachorum

I have a caravan there

static naturally

 

Wouldnt it be fun if the gave the ref a gun

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Petty things:

 

1. The officials checking the nets before a game...why? We can all see they are fine.

 

2. Substitutes that still warm up as they are about to run onto the pitch.

 

3. Programmes being too big to put in your pocket

 

4. Broken scoreboards

 

5. Players who celebrate a goal by just standing there, waiting to be mobbed. Arrogant sods!

 

6. That little hole you pass your money through at the turnstile.

 

7. The turnstiles themselves, especially at away matches. It's like entering a human shredding machine.

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Guest oa_exile
Off topic but equally petty, wtf is Cheryl Cole doing on X Factor? (Apart from looking like she needs a damn good shagging by a REAL man...)

:getmecoat:

 

Can it just go record that "I'd give her one" :)

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