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alcohol related quotes


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Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway

 

If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown

 

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it. ~Raymond Chandler

 

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills." ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

 

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ~W.C. Fields

 

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. ~Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856

 

It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~Author unknown, as seen on a bumper sticker

 

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey

 

When the wine is in, the wit is out. ~Proverb

 

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

 

What's drinking?

A mere pause from thinking!

~George Gordon, Lord Byron, The Deformed Transformed

 

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. ~W.C. Fields

 

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

 

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. ~Robert Benchley

 

Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown

 

I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody. ~M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, "Ceasefire," 1973

 

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink. ~Lord Chesterton

 

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. ~Jean Kerr

 

We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. ~Horace Hutchinson

 

Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness

 

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown

 

They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst. ~Scottish Proverb

 

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields

 

Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either. ~P.J. O'Rourke

 

Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson

 

I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver. ~Phil Harris

 

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. ~Seneca

 

I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. ~Don Marquis

 

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. ~Robert Heinlein

 

I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. ~Frank Nicholson, attributed

 

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman

 

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henny Youngman

 

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

 

Teetotallers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink. ~W.H. Davies

 

Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. ~Ambrose Bierce

 

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. ~Dean Martin

 

Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life. ~Author Unknown

 

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. ~Phyllis Diller

 

Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. ~From the movie Arthur

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown

 

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. ~James Thurber

 

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O'Rourke

 

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Benjamin Franklin

 

Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey. ~"Pappy" Maverick, in Maverick

 

 

and finally,my favourite!...

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

 

anyone thirsty? B)

 

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