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The following has just been leaked through the media. It is transcripts from the actual conversation when Kaka was rung by city to request him joining. Unfortunatley they didnt have his answers, only what was said by city, but you will get the idea.


"Hello, is that Kaka? How do you fancy becoming the supply line to Craig

Bellamy and Darius Vassell this winter?


"No, your fellow countryman doesn't like the cold and will be out until

mid April - but you will play alongside Stephen Ireland"


"No, Kaka, Ireland is a person not a country"


"yes, I fully appreciate that he is not Ronaldinho, Pirlo or even

Beckham but many fans have him in their fantasy football"


"I know you are currently the richest man in Italy but we can double



"erm, well, we have had a bit of a slide recently and we are currently



"erm, out of 20...... but Mark Hughes once won the double for our





"Ex Blackburn boss"


"Blackburn, Blackburn Rovers"


"No, Blackburn......Black.....Burn"




"He once scored a good goal against Spain"


"No, thats Gerry Armstrong..... anyway, are you coming or not?"


"Usually about two thirds full but if we play a big team its really



"yes I know, but we dont even have a car park cos all the fans walk to

the ground they are so local"


"Relevance? well, I suppose its all they have to brag about whether its

true or not"


"Only the one to be fair but its called 'blue moon' you will love it"




"yes, definitely blue, always has been"


"No, no, no, they are in Trafford"


"yes they are, steeped in it in fact but what good is history to you my

ambitious friend?"


"erm, 1976 I think"


"it was the er, the er League cup if memory serves me right"


"Well, the plan was to get in the top 4 this season and then....."


"yes, I realise that but....."


"Aston Villa? Whats it got to do with them?"


"Yes, I know but we have been down this history route already"


"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know about Nottingham



"Yes, yes, and Leeds United also made a final but you are missing my

point, this is all about the future"


"Give me strength......HUGHES!!!!"


"yes I know he did and he was a legend there but he is a changed man"


"forget them, they are falling apart"


"But all those trophies were won last year! They have won nothing in



"I have told you.... 1976!!!!"


"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know that Virginia Wade

has won Wimbledon since then?"


"Yes she probably is in her 60's"


"I dont know, probably about 10 league titles, 2 european cups and

countless domestic cups what has that got to do with it?"


"76,000 why?"


"yes, every game, even minor cups I suppose, but where is this getting



"Yes, the league cup is considered a minor cup over here why?"


"I know, I know, I know, ok perhaps they won the FA Cup in 1970 or

something does it really matter?"


"look, Kaka, we will treble whatever you are on now, buy you a mansion

in Alderley Edge and give you a helicopter for your front lawn....are

you joining us?"


"NO!, its owned by the council - what has the ground got to do with



"well, officially its the city of manchester stadium but most people

call it Eastlands"


"EAST!, not Waste"


"You will be adored there"


"No, not there, here I meant"


"No, thats Old Trafford, I meant adored here at Waste....erm, Eastlands"



"Anderson??? what does he know?"


"Ok I hear what you say, but other than Pride, Ambition, Achievement,

History, Passion and a large car park - what can they offer you?"


"what do you mean no credit left in your phone.....I phoned you"


"Hello, Mr Kaka,...... Mr Kaka are you

there?............................YOU RED B*ST*RD!!!!!"

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Excuse me :angry: Ive got PLENTY of my own comedy material, just ask anyone who sits near me on the beardy bus :lol:


A couple of samples..........


What do you call an artist with brown fingers?




Or how about the very attractive blonde who walked into the casino and bet £20,000 on one roll of the dice. Just before she rolled the dice she said "I hope nobody minds, i feel luckier when im naked" and proceeds to strip off completely naked. She rolls the dice, as it stops she jumps around screaming "Ive won, ive won". She then collects her £100,000 winnings. The teo dealers just sit there dumbfounded. One says to the other "Can you beleive that? What did she roll?", the other replies "Oh bollocks, i thought you were watching the dice". :D

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