Monty Burns Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 SC- Good morning Mr Erriksson* (Change as appropriate) So, why do you think you are right for this job? APP- Well Ive been out of work for a while, and I feel with the players you have here and my experience, we can go places. SC- Good answer Mr D*wie* (change as appropriate) Now, you mention the players? APP- Yeah, Furman, Baxter, Barnard, Croft... SC- Errrm, well what it is, is, Barnard is only on loan so he can get on tv, Furman wont be staying unless you can convince him, you might get Croft but you have to sell Baxter in the summer. APP- So whos signed up for next year? SC- Well, you will definatley have Montano and Wesolowski so thats two players at least. Can you handle that? APP- Errrrrmmm.... SC- Also, can you work for free? [APPlicant starts to back away] SC- And whilst were on the subject, you might have to pay the wages once or twice is that OK do you have the cash? APP- I'm, errrm, just going to make a phone call... [Cue comedy Homer Simpson style sound of car door slamming and screeching away] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig Howard Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Ha ha quality!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngen Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 One of the most pathetic attempts at being funny Ive ever read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Burns Posted March 5, 2013 Author Share Posted March 5, 2013 Hmmmmm... Many a true word is said in jest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) I see it like this; SC....Good Morning Mr Applicant 'A'...The first thing I want to ask is will you agree to a 3 year contract with the proviso we can sack you at any time without compensation ?... the sacking criteria is based on OWTB polls. Applicant 'A'... No problem, I voted for PDs sacking in a recent OWTB poll. SC....Will you accept the minimum wage ? Appicant 'A'.... No problem, I have been on job seekers allowance for 10 years since my last managers post with the Upper Amazon Goat herders United . SC.... What was your percentage winning record ? Applicant 'A'... Around 30% SC.....That's terrific and will avoid us relegation, you seem just the man we are looking for . Applicant 'A' ....Oh - you didn't notice from my mini skirt and 50" knockers I'm a woman - will that effect my application ? SC...I didn't notice really, I have a lot on my mind, but that's no problem, I've tried everything else except a woman, I even considered giving the job to Chaddy the Owl........can you start on Monday ? ....and by the way - I'm a strict disciplinarian, don't forget to wear a better fitting bra and blue knickers, not red in future. Applicant 'A' .....No problem boss... I'm looking forward to giving the lads a good workout on Monday. Edited March 5, 2013 by BP1960 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disjointed Posted March 5, 2013 Share Posted March 5, 2013 I see it like this; SC....Good Morning Mr Applicant 'A'...The first thing I want to ask is will you agree to a 3 year contract with the proviso we can sack you at any time without compensation ?... the sacking criteria is based on OWTB polls. Applicant 'A'... No problem, I voted for PDs sacking in a recent OWTB poll. SC....Will you accept the minimum wage ? Appicant 'A'.... No problem, I have been on job seekers allowance for 10 years since my last managers post with the Upper Amazon Goat herders United . SC.... What was your percentage winning record ? Applicant 'A'... Around 30% SC.....That's terrific and will avoid us relegation, you seem just the man we are looking for . Applicant 'A' ....Oh - you didn't notice from my mini skirt and 50" knockers I'm a woman - will that effect my application ? SC...I didn't notice really, I have a lot on my mind, but that's no problem, I've tried everything else except a woman, I even considered giving the job to Chaddy the Owl........can you start on Monday ? ....and by the way - I'm a strict disciplinarian, don't forget to wear a better fitting bra and blue knickers, not red in future. Applicant 'A' .....No problem boss... I'm looking forward to giving the lads a good workout on Monday. Some one has been reading too many mens mags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted March 6, 2013 Share Posted March 6, 2013 Some one has been reading too many mens mags. Past tense I'm afraid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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