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MATCH: vs Carlisle United (A) 27/02/21


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I have a transcript of Pidge's meeting with Chairman Al.

 

P: Can i have a quick word Great Leader?

A: Yes, of course. You are my captain and i love you.

P: Me and the lads were wondering why you've sold our best player, one of the best in the league.

A: because i got a large variety pack of Walkers crisps. I intend to share them with all the players.

P: but you've sold him to one of our rivals.

A: are you questioning me?

P" just looking for clarity.

A: You are questioning me!

P: No, honest.

A: You won't get any crisps.

P: Okay, can i also ask why we have so many loan players?

A: because i love them, they're cheap and if they question me i can send them back. Also, i can't count up to seven.

P: It seems a bit silly.

A: right, i've told you. Stop answering me back. I am right. i am brilliant. You are a pony tailed piece of shit. This is why i hate players over 30. This is why i love loan players. Arghhh! You are no longer captain. You are no longer first choice. You won't start again, ever, unless you beg for forgiveness, kiss my arse and cut off that stupid fucking pony tail. Now get the fuck OUT. BASTARD.

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Gutted i’ve missed this one, especially now we are winning. Typical after purchasing most games and enduring Tuesdays game. Sounds like a poor 70 mins and then wham, but who cares if we win.

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