Birkenheaven

What a joy to read...

Because you knock around with the mascots, darling.

man up, boys.

Cant hack abit of banter, darling?

Getting worked up over an internet forum?

pick your dummy up...

I've heard and seen it all now. Still buzzing off a goal from over 2 years ago.

You've been in the Prem, didnt you know?

Crap team

Crap fans

 

say hello to bury

lad, ive never been to a worse home ground for atmosphere.

Crewe outsing your lot.

Crawl down Borough Road these days? good luck.

Then again, you may be one of the ones who use Rock Ferry, instead of Birko.

Just got a couple of tickets for Saturday....apparently we have sold over 600 already. With nearly a week to go and pay on the day punters we should have a great following.

 

Looking forward to a good booze, a cracking atmosphere, and more importantly ......3 points!!!

I'd get a refund then, fella.

There's no way you're walking away from this place with 3 points.

Talking of Trannies what the jingo's happened to Bas Savage? I rated him last time i saw him and hes been released by em???? Is he still available???

He's on the dole.

Thats what happens when you stay around here for too long.

He got offered a dancing job, but turned it down.

not just beat, but batter them off the field

surely thats a joke? surely?

How on earth are Tranmere lower odds? Finished below us, have a physio in charge, and like us - have no money.

diddums...

It's a well known fact that getting off at Rock Ferry was always the easier way out.

Birkenhead Central is the gauntlet...

Another typical Scousers story

 

Liverpool fans draw lots to see who will rob Joe Cole’s house

 

 

Liverpool fans have celebrated the signing of England’s Joe Cole by drawing lots to see who will be the first lucky person to rob his house during an away game.

 

Cole, who signed a four-year contract after eating several Wurther’s Originals given to him by new manager Roy Hodgson, is said to be excited by the opportunity to test the most up to date security systems money can buy.

 

He told reporters, “I’ve come here for the challenge. I could have stayed in London and picked up my wages knowing that my house would barely even get a passing look.”

 

“But I’ve come here to test my security systems against the best burglars in the business - and what better place to do that than Liverpool?”

 

“I’m confident in my ability to secure my property, and I expect to prove the manager right by repeatedly showing that ability over the next four years.”

 

Fans Delighted

 

There has been delight around Anfield at the capture of Cole, a player who has ignited the imagination among all fans, both you and old.

 

As one fan put it, “This is a great signing for Liverpool, a real marque signing. He’ll be bringing with him lots of fancy London gadgets which will be worth an absolute fortune on the black market.”

 

“After the dark days of Rafa Benitez who seemed to only buy players whose houses were filled with straw donkeys, this is a new dawn. A new dawn filled with lots of stuff with significant resale value.”

 

“Now, when is Liverpool’s next away game again?”

superb, sir.

superb...

Not in my lifetime, you must be OLD

Or you're still having dry bashes?

It never was. Stockport is in Cheshire.

Yes they are yet you have not managed to bait any lady on here succesfully have you?

 

Interesting tac tic if you wanted a date sweetie for your first "home" game

 

So I will wait to see if you get many offers of a date for that match or indeed, afterwards.....

peace, darling. peace.

now, whats for tea?

I dont go on many internet forums, but compared to ours, this seems a very aggressive place.

Id have a harder time winding up anger management.

Well I've heard that Wallasey La' has certain connotations in other parts of Merseyside...

Wallasey is one grim place, man.

Quite similar to Oldham.

Ooh, to be from the vibrant, Cultural Metropolis that is the Wirrall.

 

You must be a real cosmopolitan Guy.

you say guy, you must be too.

'Hey guys, you fancy a frapuccino?'

I was mucking out pidgeon lofts and training whippets whilst listening to the Tinkers.

 

Far more productive youth.

Thats what happens out in the sticks though, cherup.

I do envy the great outdoor's in a childhood.

We used to fire cannons at the pirate ships in the Mersey.

are you ronniemooregenius1, 2 and 3 on 606? cos he comes accross as a too

I havent a scooby doo what 606 is, darling.

sorry...

tick tock, tick tock, this place is a ticking time bomb of frustrations.

hormones are for women.

I suppose people who wind people up on the internet are cool cats, yeah?

cooler than the ones punching out of there screens.

angry kids, drop acid, no tantrums.