kieranmcandrew1

wow, best post ive ever seen... spot on in every aspect! can i ask, how long did this take you?!

We hope you enjoyed your visit to our ‘:censored:ty stadium’ in our ‘:censored:ty Northern town’ on Sunday. It seems the internet is awash with astonishment that our players had the audacity to turn up and ‘play’ against your evidently superior, expensively assembled whingeing Nancy boys.

 

Let’s therefore….set a few things straight. The FA Cup is famous the world over for the very notion that anything from a ‘genuine pub team’ to the greatest team in the land (something that you once were long ago….and very quickly need to realise you no longer are) may possibly meet should the lesser of those two teams have the good fortune to win through round after round of hard fought ties, often in surroundings almost as bad as those in which the majority of you reside.

 

At the third round proper stage (that is 8 rounds after the competition starts), the Jessies of your upper echelons join the competition and collectively hope for an easy draw and a simple passage to the next round. Generally, they hope to gain a ‘home’ tie as travelling to places like Mansfied and Oldham can occasionally be uncomfortable, although I have to point out that on numerous visits to the mighty sporting cathedral of Anfield…..i have yet to witness supporter comforts any better than those in which you were housed on Sunday. We may not provide hangers for your bizarre two-piece shiny outfits, but we did at least provide receptacles known as ‘bins’ should you have taken the hint to discard your seventies clothing in shame at any time. It was pointed out by an errant educated imposter amongst your contingent, that our plan to rid you of the derision attached to your collective dress sense was doomed to failure from the start, as those very same receptacles are known as a food source back from where you crawl. Alas, we tried, and you should bear it in mind for the next time you visit…..likely for a League 1 fixture some time before 2016.

 

On to the game. It may well have escaped your attention but Oldham Athletic are the archetypal banana skin. We are you see……somewhat experienced at deflowering the mighty. You may remember just a few years ago, we completed a similar unthinkable act of lowering the trousers of your superior neighbours at the other end of Stanley Park. If we could do it to them…..on their own turf……why the hell could you not see it might be possible for us do the same to an inferior outfit like yours? We also did the same a few years earlier to that other ‘big time Charlie’ known as Manchester City. Now, we know we don’t exactly make it easy for your guys. We should, given our lowly status, roll over very quickly after the initial five minutes of token resistance……hell, we’ve been doing it for every other team in League 1 all season, so why should we be any different for Liverpool....yep, we are asking the same question ourselves!

 

Well, for starters……your players are the most sickeningly overpaid, jumped up, self important, arrogant wankers that we’ve had the pleasure of spoiling this year. We would, without a shadow of a doubt, have preferred to play either of the Manchester clubs, because in fairness to your shower of :censored:e, they are possibly the only two teams (and supporters) in the country more abhorrent to us than yours. Did you REALLY think that we would just let you get on with your passage to the next round while you applauded and ‘olayed’ your way through? We can accept that you are in the main….let’s be kind here…..somewhat slower of wit than average…… but you surely didn’t think that all those people wearing blue colours were there to watch YOUR clowns did you? Hell no…..these people are so dyed in the wool blue that some of them have been coming back week after week just to see if Oldham can ever win a game! If you don’t believe me, just ask someone who can read to look in the paper for the attendance at the next home match. You’ve gone and burst the bubble now!

 

Anyhow, just to sum up. When you come to a lower league stadium….to play a lower league team…..you might learn to expect that it won’t necessarily be the cakewalk you expected. Yes, for sure…..the game will be more physical than that with which you are familiar. We don’t save it especially for you….it’s how life is down here in the troughs of football. We actually thought that the similarity of living in Liverpool when there is a whole country to explore might have resonated with you….apparently not….oh, i digress………

 

So, get over it….we beat you fair and square. For us, we actually thought some of our football was a delight to watch….although the majority of us preferred watching our guys kick :censored: out of yours…..in between laughing at your inept goalkeeper and your clothing.

 

Finally, we sincerely hope that by the time you come to visit for the impending League 1 Fixture (sadly, we may well be in League 2 soon and we're not sure you will drop that far…..but you never know) we would like to think that some of you might take personal hygiene more seriously than you currently do. We know it doesn’t matter to you but it does to us. If you want to see how life could be, make a trip to Warrington, where nearly half the people are now washing on a relatively frequent basis. Thanks.