Wit and ‘wisdom’ of footie managers

[wardlelatic]

THE gaffers in football are often more famous for their foot-in-mouth gaffes than their tactical know-how. And now a hilarious new book has compiled the embarrassing own goals and witty one-liners to come out of the mouths of the most famous managers in the game.

 

 

 

RON ATKINSON: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."

 

"Beckenbauer has really gambled all his eggs."

 

"He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate."

 

After 15yrs I'm an overnight success ... Jose Mourinho

 

 

"They've picked their heads up off the ground, and now they have a lot to carry on their shoulders."

 

"Argentina are the second-best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."

 

JACK CHARLTON: "We probably got on better with the likes of Holland, Belgium, Norway and Sweden, some of whom are not even in Europe."

 

BRIAN CLOUGH, after Brighton were beaten 4-0 in the FA Cup by Walton and Hersham: "I lost to a team that sounded like a firm of solicitors."

 

"Dutch goalkeepers are protected to a ridiculous extent. The only time they are in danger of physical contact is when they go into a red light district."

 

Even though two and two might look like four, it could be three or five ... Kevin Keegan

 

Before Nottingham Forest's 1990 Littlewoods Cup final: "The only person certain of boarding the coach is Albert Kershaw - and he'll be driving it."

 

TOMMY DOCHERTY: On Dwight Yorke after his Villa debut: "If that lad makes a First Division footballer, then I'm Mao Tse Tung."

 

SIR ALEX FERGUSON: "The lads ran their socks into the ground."

 

"When an Italian tells me it's pasta on the plate, I check under the sauce to make sure. They are inventors of the smokescreen."

 

SVEN GORAN ERIKSSON, before his first England game: "I'm nervous about meeting so many people. It's like when you go out with a woman for the first time - you're bound to wonder how it will end up."

 

RON GREENWOOD: "Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales."

 

GLENN HODDLE: "Look at Jesus. He was a normal, run-of-the-mill sort of guy who had a genuine gift."

 

It's 60-40 against him being fit, so he's got half a chance ... Glenn Hoddle

 

 

KEVIN KEEGAN: "He can't speak Turkish but you can tell he's delighted."

 

"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight."

 

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room."

 

JOSE MOURINHO, after his Yorkshire terrier got lost: "My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the City of London is safe, the big threat is away."

 

SIR ALF RAMSAY: "There is great harmonium in that dressing room."

 

SIR BOBBY ROBSON: "I've only got two words for how we played out there - not good enough."

 

"Sarajevo isn't Hawaii."

 

"We didn't underestimate them, they were just a lot better than we thought."

 

GORDON STRACHAN, to a reporter who asked for a quick word: "Velocity."

 

KEVIN BOND: "I enjoy being a manager - except for Saturday afternoons."

 

GERRY FRANCIS: "What I said to them at half-time would be unprintable on radio."

 

JOHN LAMBIE, when told a concussed player did not know who he was: "That's great, tell him he's Pele and send him back on

 

 

 

 

 

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