Robinho story from the daily mash

[dfOAFC]

 

MANCHESTER City striker Robinho has requested a transfer after missing his scheduled dose of psychotropic drugs.

 

 

 

The Brazilian moved to the club in 2008 after City scouts used a mixture of poisoned blowdarts and hypnotism to convince the striker he would be playing in Valhalla for the sexual favours of Scarlett Johansson.

 

Thanks to the combination of powerful narcotics he became convinced he was living in a Viking long room in Asgard instead of a six bedroom, mock-tudor mansion in Wilmslow.

 

Meanwhile players and backroom staff helped to maintain the illusion by adopting Nordic accents during training sessions, singing songs about pillage and drinking Gatorade from plastic skulls.

 

 

Robinho was also barred from watching Coronation Street in case the horrifying reality of his situation pierced through the haze of tree frog poison.

 

But after the postal strike delayed the arrival of a new batch of the Brazilian's drugs the effect suddenly wore off as he was sitting in his Lamborghini outside the Trafford Centre last Monday.

 

A police spokesman said: "We found a 25 year-old Brazilian man huddled inside his car, screaming constantly. There was terror in his eyes and he kept saying that all he could see was the colour grey and that the buildings wanted to kill him."

 

Tom Logan, a Man City physio, said: "Heavy dosing with herbal infusions and jungle drugs is standard practice for South Americans based north of Stevenage.

 

"Sylvinho believes he's in Narnia, Zabaleta thinks he's a giant swan and thanks to a kind of Eskimo tea made from Bison droppings we've convinced Caicedo that he's the Emperor of Legoland."

 

[Oafc88]

Haha quality!!!