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I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said

so I bought her a Tottenham shirt




Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on

Northumberland Park.


A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a funfair there once a year,


But a circus every fortnight is a bit much."




I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make 'Tottenham

Hotspur Football Club'.


I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points."




Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours.


Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.




What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win?


Turns off the Xbox.


After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help

Spurs get out of their slump.


He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special".



Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills

playing the computer game Championship Manager.


Sadly it seems Juande misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.


A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Sunday afternoon.


The football results are coming up on the television in the corner:


"Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer.


Suddenly the Jack Russell jumps up and shouts out,


"Oh, no, not again."


The shocked landlord says,


"That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Tottenham lost?"


"Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner replies.


The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match,


To which the man replies,


"I don't know. I've only had him six months."




When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance

leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday.


He asked medical staff who he was.


On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a





All trains through White Hart Lane have been cancelled due to a massive

point’s failure.




What does THFC stand for? Tottenham Heading For the Championship.





What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Spurs defence?


Bigfoot has been spotted several times.




Spurs have been forced to rename their ground "White Lane" because their

"Hart" was surgically removed when Berbatov and Keane were sold.




Coming up to panto season,


Ramos is looking for a part in Cinderella.


It is said that he is going for the part of the pumpkin, in the hope that it

will turn him into a coach.




The ground staff at White Hart Lane have laid paper on the pitch for the

next home game.


Jaunde Ramos has enquired as to why they have done so, to which the grounds man replied,


''Because Spurs look good on paper''




David Bentley is ill, so Ramos offers to go shopping for him.


While in the local supermarket, he bumps into Arsene Wenger.


"Hey Juande, what in god's name are you doing here?"


"I'm getting a bag of potatoes for David Bentley"


"Sounds like a fair swap to me!"




Spurs the glory years video is available for £200, that’s £5 for the video and £195 for the betamax recorder

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A tourist is in North London one Saturday and he decides he would very much like to go to a football match, so he asks a man in the street if there are any local matches being played that afternoon.


"Well," replies the man, "the Arsenal ground is very close but they're playing away today. If you feel you really must see a match, the Tottenham ground is not that far away. You go straight down this road and you'll see two queues, a big queue and a small queue.


You should go to the small queue because the big one is for the fish and chip shop.




Spurs finally win a game

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