If you were the owner..

[outoftheblue]

Model Shankly

 

1. Poach the scout at Scunthorpe United.

2. Install an attacking football philosophy. Any manager not fulfilling this core value would be taken to my newly-constructed stocks on the morning after a game for 24 hours, with free rotting fruit and leftover pies (natch) readily available. Then sacked.

3. Project Ice Station Zebra to be redrafted, to include one standing terrace and based exactly on Loftus Road but scaled down to 12,000. Yes, 12,000, if you're locked out when we rise from the ashes then tough titties. I want grounds half full, not half empty.

4. "Arbeit macht frei" new club motto in iron to be constructed over the players entrance.

5. Platforms placed on all four corners of the stadium manned by snipers armed with high velocity air rifles. Any Latics player found nonchantly trotting about with no real desire to 'get stuck in' would be targeted, although pellets would not cause any lasting damage. But would sting a bit.

6. Run out music to be changed to Arcade Fire songs forthwith.

7. 25° slope factored into the pitch.

8. Drums banned.

9. Away fans to be kept behind after the home fans have dispersed. 60 minutes after full time.

10. Half Time entertainment to be 15 minutes of yard of ale contests.

Wahooo!! Solution at last!!

 

Item 5. Whits would be dancing like Bez!