boboafc Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Question What's the difference between a Lada and a sheep? Answer... It's marginally less embarrasing getting out of the back of a sheep Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted October 26, 2009 Author Share Posted October 26, 2009 On Wales I played a gig in Cardiff last week and had a run in with the Welsh Mafia; They made me an offer I couldn't understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikejh45 Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 A man checks into an hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely. He thought, "I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone boxes when you're calling for a taxi." He popped into a phone box near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. He copied the phone number and returned to his hotel. When back in the room he figures, what the hell, give her a call. "Hello," the woman says. God, she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futchers briefs Posted October 27, 2009 Share Posted October 27, 2009 How come when your wife is pregnant, all her female friends rub her tummy and say congratulations! But none of them rub your cock and say well done! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intheknow Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 Why dont witches wear knickers? More grip on the broomstick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stebuzz Posted October 30, 2009 Share Posted October 30, 2009 (edited) On Wales I played a gig in Cardiff last week and had a run in with the Welsh Mafia; They made me an offer I couldn't understand. a newspaper reporter went out to afghanistan and asked a soldier in an interview. what is the procedure if you are out on patrol and you find an improvised explosive device. well normally says the soldier you would leap 50 feet into the air and spread yourself over a large area. Edited October 31, 2009 by stebuzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaticsLen Posted October 31, 2009 Share Posted October 31, 2009 Welcome to the psyciatric hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are, where you are and what you want. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you what number to press. If you are a manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will understand your pain. If you suffer from anxiety, just start furiously pressing numbers at random. If you are phobic, for god's sake don't press anything. If you are anal retentive, please hold. "Doctor. I'm very worried about my son - he's immobile, depressed, lacks aspirations and doesn't have any goals." "Does he play for Hull?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted November 2, 2009 Share Posted November 2, 2009 In the middle of the defensive wall at a free kick, the left back took the ball right in the crotch and he passed out from the pain. When he woke up he found himself in the local hospital. Though still in pain, he asked the doctor, "Doc, is it bad? Will I be able to play again?" "Yes, you should be able to," replied the doctor. "Oh, great. So I can play for my club again?" said the man, feeling much relieved. "Well, just as long as they've got a women's team," said the doctor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.