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Dear Everton Supporters

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On the basis that you come from the comparatively normal end of Stanley Park, and the fact that we recently had the dubious pleasure of hosting your web fingered cousins, we thought it prudent to engage with you ahead of your forthcoming cup final at the ever so slightly less :censored:ty end of the East Lancs Road.


On arrival, you are likely to find numerous welcoming pubs whose landlords will be delighted if you were to return the glasses your inbred neighbours relocated to Merseyside on their recent scouting trip. In return, you may take back the huge bottom lip we found in the Rochdale Road End........although we understand that carrying two back may prove more difficult than first imagined. You may wish to consult with supporters of Leeds United who have decades of relevant experience.


In the vacinity of the stadium, we also have a plethora of takeaways of every ethnicity and we considered that as a gesture of reciprocation for our last visit to Goodison Park, we might set set fire to one just before kick off. Unfortunately, such is the proximity of Featherstall Road to the ground.......there is concern that setting fire to a kebab shop might spread to such an extent the International Space Station could melt and fall to earth. NASA have advised there is no guarantee it would fall on Merseyside so unfortunately the fire brigade have intervened. You ought though, should you venture into the Featherstall Road area, be alert to flaming missiles in any case.......just as you would back home. Think of it as Toxteth light.


During the game itself, we would appreciate that should you collectively break into song upon the unlikely instance of good play by your team........you do so in a language discernable by other humans, unlike the acccch, iccccch, eccccch sounds uttered by your incomprehensible, scruffy mates from Anfield. We would also appreciate that you inform us ahead of your visit, the number of pies your are likely to consume. On recent occasions, we have significantly underestimated demand which has led to an increase in the population of feral animals in the locality, though we understand you are unlikely to notice.


Please enjoy the day, as best you know how......but be aware that urinating in public places is frowned upon in these parts......and unlike where you come from is not deemed an act of courtship, and unlikey to be a pre-cursor to a sexual encounter.......unless of course you know your way to the Candlelight.

Have fun!

Edited by otid
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It seems like poor form to have a go at them for their behaviour before they've even got here!


Just a bit of fun on the back of the other one LL....i reckon i've had just as much a poke at Oldham in the post as Liverpool.

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