24hoursfromtulsehill

Shakespeare's works actually would be a bit slimmer if the herd had their way. There'd be no Taming of the Shrew, for instance, because it's sexist; no Othello, because it's the moor who goes a bit mental; no Merchant of Venice; and no Troilus and Cressida, which features a character called Thersites, who is described in the dramatis personae as "a deformed and scurrilous Greek". On the bus this morning, some black kid was playing music out of one of them there tinny mobile phone rubbish boxes. Every other word in rap lyrics, to judge by what I heard, is "nigger".

My point was that it is fine to watch what you say to avoid causing offence to the person or people to whom you are speaking. What's not fine is when you have to watch what you say because people to whom you are not speaking might take offence. They don't have any right at all to take offence: it's none of their beeswax, man.

The regulator is an arsehole and so is Channel 4. I thought that Big Brother was meant to be a view of what people were really like, including the things that they really say. Of course, no one escapes the attention of the language police, who are so incredibly fascist it is almost funny. I just watched the show, and I was not at all shocked at the way she said "nigger". She said it in a conversation the type of which you can hear everyday on the bus here in sarfff Landan. But we can't have the kind of talk you hear on the bus on the telly now, can we? Not least because people on the telly talk far better and more posher than people on buses. I noticed something else in the programme. Charley, at whom the comment was directed, said that she didn't want to make anything of it and that she wasn't offended (repeatedly, thus making rather a lot of it). Her main concern was not her own personal feelings toward the word, but the potential reaction of Big Brother and the viewing public. Political correctness is about the special claims to grievances of people who are not being spoken to. They should mind their own beeswax, them pious types.

They admitted that the word wasn't used maliciously, but threw her out anyway. Terrific! The politically correct herd strike again. She had a terrific arse, too. Shame.

To say nothing of Elton John, Kenneth Williams, and Frankie Howerd.

They should not be allowed to have myspace pages after the "Chris Hall" calamity. Myspace turned the poor bloke's head. I reckon someone emailed him to tell him that he was a really terrific clothes horse, to make a pun, and that it was only a matter of time before Guy Ritchie, or some other lazy upper-class ouanquere, turns him into the next vinnie jones. Or, perhaps he simply fell in love with seeing his own page on the internet. People write such awful drivel online, they write some right turd they do. It should be banned.

I think I've had enough of the relatives, even. They want Hughes to spend the rest of his days in homage to something he did when he was being an idiot. I feel sorry for their loss, but Hughes has every right now to get on with his life without bowing and scraping to their every whim.

Toodle-pip, waster. Has anyone told "Chris" that 99.99 per cent. of actors and models are grande ouanqueres?

His myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/chrismichaelhall) lists his "Occupation" as "Footballer / Model". Bye bye, Chris.

The "good behaviour" discount is the only thing keeping prisons from going nuclear.

Classic. In the man's own words...

Drunk, with an almost totally gay naked man in your house, after he "fell in the pond" (that old chestnut). And another house guest was being sick all over the shop. What was really going on last night?

I've been ill, which is why I've been wasting so much time on OWTB. I'll look at your CV today. I think it's almost finished, though.

meh. Lightweight.

I think Kieron was actually a bit stunned that everyone didn't bow down in worship when she walked in. She might be the one to crack first, as a matter of fact. I'll laugh at the twins for a couple of weeks, then vote them out. The eastender who everyone likes is alright, but only because everyone likes her. The stuck up matron can do one, as can the welsh one and the posh one. Posh spice, on the other hand, is a televised identity crisis. She promises an enthralling narrative in which her persona unravels to reveal a fairly well-gone-mad young woman. If she manages to stay in, things could get messy. Televised mental health issues. You absolutely cannot beat Big Brother. Thank you, God. I shall never be bad again.

When Kieran Richardson's cousin went in, the fairies in the crowd were all shouting "Get her out", partly because they didn't know her name. I do not want these next three months or whatever to ever end. You can't beat that medieval crowd booing thing. We know who's going to win. The fun is in watching the others realise that, and watching them go down.

The more I think about it, the quesier I get. There's a high risk that he'll mess up. He's just another bloke, right? And two thirds of lags reoffend. That's some risk. Also, a lot of the news reports from the time of his conviction and sentencing promise things like "his career is now in ruins..." and all of that stuff, as if it would be some consolation to the family. What they are actually saying is that his career ought to be in ruins, and anyone who takes him on when he gets out is a disgrace.

You don't think that he might have, say, told someone his login details for when he's in the Big Brother house? It's not like he's Mr. Confidential now, is it? I do not think he's going on Big Brother, but not because someone logged on to his myspace page. Incidentally, I, too, would one day like to read the DaVinci Code, by the popular writer Dan Brown. I hear that it's a cracking good read. A real page-turner, so they say.

That's okay then, because usually, once someone is banned, they don't get behind the wheel again until their ban is lifted and they've retaken their test and what have you.

I looked at the page, man, and I have never ever seen anything like it in all my born days. There is no evidence that he's been online recently. It doesn't matter, because if he laughs off football for Big Brother, as much as I love that show, the world will end and we'll all be the poorer for it. It won't happen, because it can't.

I found this: "However, there is one more footballing potential in the shape of Oldham Athletic star Chris Hall. The currently-injured striker has been fined two weeks' wages by the club after failing to turn up to rehabilitation work-outs. All attempts from the club to contact the twenty-year-old have so far failed and there are rumours that Hall, who has already hit fame by starring in a stage production of The Full Monty, may be heading for the Big Brother house. "Chris has failed to respond to phone calls and letters," Latics chief executive Alan Hardy told the Manchester Evening News. "It would not surprise me if he did turn up on Big Brother. His priorities seem to be elsewhere at the moment because he hasn't been seen since early May." Sadly though, Hall has played down such rumours and the fact he was even available for comment suggests he won't be having his eardrums assaulted by Davina McCall this summer" here http://www.4thegame.com/features/feature/2...ive_of_god.html so that's that then.

There's been so much speculation already that they've named just about everyone in the country as a possible. They couldn't go back now. Not that it matters, because he ain't doing it.

He came on as sub in his first game and pulled his team back from 2-0 down. You could say that he got them out of jail... (The bit about the match is true.)

I picked this key line out of the Hate Mail report: "...officials say they will be closely monitoring the programme." And this from fishul site: "Perhaps he'll turn up on Big Brother tomorrow night!" The hate Mail is rubish

...unless, of course, Hardy knew when he made his wee jibe the other day... No. It's a load of old horlicks. Or is it?