inspectormorose

Hey Up Inspector !

 

Happy Birthday Matey !

 

:popcorn2: Have a good one

 

Cheers Exile

 

PS... Why have you not put it in your OWTB Calendar for all to see

Cos i'm crap at admin of course

Ta everybody,for the record i've joined Stipe on 43 not out and am planning on going for my century.

I heartily recommend a diet of beer and curry should you wish to attain that milestone as i've been living off that for the last 25 years and never had a proper days illness (had plenty of days "illness" for work purposes but hey that's another matter).

Does my boss secretly read this .

Now if you'll excuse me i'm off for a birthday meal of.....

Beer and Curry,whatever else would do .

Glad you enjoyed James, IM. I'm off to see another of Madchester's legends, Northside, on Thursday. I'm actually helping them out for a DVD of the gig, so will be back stage hanging round with Bez and Mani.

Fecking awesome Jimi it was,it really was.

Sorry to hear about the job.

You'll have to mention to Mani about The Hungry Socks a band he used to play in before he was famous,get his attention that will.He used to booze in the Castle in Oldham of a weekend around 20 years ago and was in said band along with a childhood mate of mine Chris Goodwin who played drums (he actually had a try out for the Roses before Reni and didn't fancy it,allegedly even left his drumkit after the audition and never went back for it,last i heard he was a baker in Wythenshawe) and Clint Boon amongst others.They had a proper funny mentalist called Swinny as lead singer and were a darn good night out.

Swin went on to reinvent himself as a solo artiste called Billy Big Bottom playing the Castle,seem to remember even at this distance in time a song he did called Crawdaddy Hole.

The lyrics went

If you've got the hole then i've got the pole now baby (repeated 4/5 times)

second verse

If you've got the gums then i've got the plums now baby (repeated 4/5 times)

and that was about it.

You can't buy class like that

Gill you're welcome,luckily i didn't find out they had got one back until after the game had finished or i would have been cacking it.After the papal episode against Cheltenham i won't mention what you were planning on doing with Lidds after i let you know he'd scored the second.

Wots all that about Bob

Think the possible alluding to bum fun didn't "go down" well

IM put those pics up for you, i have many more, unfortunately the one of you didnt come out as well as id hoped!

Being one of the undead i rarely take a good photo,mirrors are a barsteward as well

Now now come on, if your not happy with something Bob dont reply, and Mads you should know better!

Oh leave him be,it's obviously not de riguer to wander around downtown Tel Aviv with a dampened crotch

For the record,the coach was late and we nipped,with my still damp crotch,into a delightful hostelry called Paddys Goose facing Chorlton Street bus station.Took us a couple of minutes to register we were the only mixed gender couple in the place one of whom had a damp crotch and was getting stares.

Beer gardens are great

I have it on good authority that after leaving Wetherspoons, you were trawling the pubs in the Gay Village with your freshly-dampened crotch...

 

God knows what the other patrons thought...

Aye that is true but that's another story John

James yesterday was MAGNIFICENT,got to meet Beardy and Chaddy th' Owl.How much Vodka is it possible for a person to consume ,nice to meet you chaps hope you enjoyed the gig didn't see you fall out of the top tier.Was severely guilty of some very dodgy "dad" dancing myself at the gig but you know what i didn't feckin care,there was love in that room .

We went down with my ma's best mates son and his girl,never met 'em before but got on like a house on fire so continued the party when we got back to Oldham on the last train.Top,top,top day out.

Plan for today is beer garden at the Falconers and work can feck off tomorrow

It's a wonderful life.

Self replying,tut,tut.

Still in juvenile mode,just reading my Guardian guide prior to departing for work (2 hours ago it wasn't happening but it's amazing what super strength coffee can do for you ) and there is an article about number twos.

Refers to them as bum biscuits and after dinner mince,never heard them called that before and it amused me a lot so i thought i'd share.

That's the sort of stuff big threads were made for .

Off to see James at the Arena tonight,can't bloody wait.

So listening to Terry Christian this morning on the way in and they were talking about comics, as in Spiderman etc. They palyed that old theme tune to the Spiderman cartoon, TC said ha it was alright but they nicked the storylines from "Rocket Robin Hood".

 

WOW RRH, I've mentioned that to other people over the years and nobody recalls it, yet here's TerryfrickinChritian mentioning it in an off the cuff way like everybody knows it. Me and me cousin watched it all the time. It was on every Sunday, and we always used to go to me Grans in Wythenshawe on a Sunday, so it must have been late 60's early 70's, I', sure it was on before the Kick Off Match.

 

I might have mentioned it on the original LT, anyway search prompted and hell fire...

 

and

 

Even cheesier clip

Can't believe how much we used to like that, I shall send that to me cousin but she'll probably deny all knowledge of wanting to be Rocket Maid Marion. Her older bother was the Sheriff, well he had to be he had one of them guns what fired ping pong balls :lol: :lol:

Just had a look at that Stipey and i must admit don't ever remember seeing it although i'm glad you put it up as the cheesy clip one on you tube had a video on the side bar that had a guy eating mentos mints then drinking diet coke to see what the result would be.

Appealed to my very,very juvenile sense of humour.

So thanks for that

Pats on the back all round then

Know we discussed this ages ago on original BT,considering work plays such a huge part of peoples day to day lives being in a job you hate is just plain mad.If you really want to change it enough you will,well done Mr W for sticking at it to get what you want.

Unlike the equally enjoyable rabble IM gave me. Superb country punk (note to admin, need a proper punk smiley thing).

Glad you liked it mate,thanks for reminding me as well said i'd do Mr S a copy and it had slipped from my mind.

Oh dear.

 

The lad I am being some sort of reserve Best Man for this summer had the first of his three weddings this weekend, it's all a bit complicated what with her being of Indian origin but from the Middle East.

 

They had a whirlwind romance which took everyone by suprise (and would suprise Real Big Threaders who recall his exploits at the wedding I was Real Best Man at last summer) - but anyway, he told us he had taken the decision that he was going to save things of a certain nature for the wedding night, by which he was very clear that he meant the first one.

 

Well, I just got the photos. Not sure how to put it, but, erm, he appears, erm, like he can't wait for the reception to end and other things to begin. He might not have been in the right frame of mind to be wearing flat cut 1970's style trousers. It doesn't really help that in said photo he is standing between his mum and his mother-in-law, leaving them with the choice of either insulting them or having a photo of him with at the least a fatty, and I would argue a semi, with his arms around them, hanging up in the living room.

Which brings us on to embarassing situations,don't think we ever did this on original big thread.

What's your most toe curling embarassing personal situation you found yourself in (or is this thread too easy for people to access and we won't play? )

One springs to mind,Moon Under the Water Wetherspoons on Deansgate a couple of years ago.Me and our kid were picking my ma up on a sojourn from Aberdeen,done some shopping went for lunch prior to picking her up.Went upstairs and sat as far from the front and only entrance as you could do.My sis tends to be very demonstrative hand wise when she's talking,as she made a sweeping gesture to illustrate a point she knocked my pint over,into my lap and onto my jeans.

Wet spreadage was immediate,and we were sat as far from the door as you possibly could be (as i think i may have mentioned ).

The looks of disgust i got as we trudged our weary way through a packed lunchtime central Manchester pub to get out were something else.I really wanted to stop,stand on a table and shout "I'VE NOT drunk MYSELF THIS DAFT BITCH HAS JUST KNOCKED BEER OVER ME" .

Instead i just kept my head down and kept walking.

Shameful.

LL i know it's not a football thread but yesterday was pretty darn good,was disappointed the Record never had "Japs Aye" as it's banner headline today.Had to make do with "Kimono over to my place,hey you we're having a party" not anywhere near as good!

Read his gas meter not long ago,still lives nae far from Latics.

He was havin' a potter round his garden,regularly rub shoulders with the stars me .

Top man,i grew up with Frizz as our manager.Started going in '68/69 as a 4 year old when we got relegated to the basement (admittedly don't remember a great deal of my formative years as a 'tic) but i remember the good bits,the players he signed and the march he took us on as i watched wide eyed as a young 'un in the early seventies.Might have only been from the basement to the second division as it was then but to me it was magical.

Fryatt and Shaw in 70/71 goalscoring machines,my first away games in the Champs winning season York and Chesterfield.

Alan Groves,god that he was!

Les Chapman,Vic Halom,Ian Robins,David Shaw back again,Stevie Taylor,Simon Stainrod,Roger Wylde.

Maurice Whittle,always came out with his socks round his ankles,shinners were for puffs.Woody,there forever,always dependable.

All Frizzells men(there's more i haven't mentioned just threw in the ones that came immediately to mind),all testament to his ability to sign a cracking player.

Swore i'd never go again when he was sacked,lasted 3 games because ultimately the club is all people come and go in it's employ,but he was,is and will always be a Latics legend.

Now get hold of the Chron IM, I feel a scoop coming on.......

I've put Mike Yarwood on standby for today,i've heard he writes a lovely byline.

Which particular faith group are we thinking of upsetting today,are we after bangin' buddha

Doesn't matter that you never met him in the flesh Beardy,you make a connection with someone regardless of whether it's over the net and something happens to them it's painful.Sad news.

You too Gill,just because we may lose touch with someone doesn't mean we don't still think about and care about them.Hope you get to see him.

A girl can't have any secrets can she? Reminder to myself - don't send text messages to the lads in the middle of a game - they will share them and use them against me at a later date.

I actually had his holiness on speedial having negotiated exclusive rights with the Chron for the story.

I'm puzzled - you are proud to call Inspector your girlfriend, and he's your work colleague - so where does his niece come into it?

Read like that to me LL ,but hey we'll let him off she's cast her spell and that's that

Thinkin' of starting to call her Lorelei

Money isn't great, but it's local, friendly, flexible, and I do have the respect of the Directors. It also granted me the opportunity to meet the lovely niece of our own InspectorMorose, a work colleague who I now feel proud to call my girlfriend.

Money isn't great,if that's a cheap attempt to get my half to pay for any future nuptuals you can feck right off John

a few TD's went doing that!! maybe you know them?? do you not have to have the patience of a saint??? i have problems with the general public!!!!

Saw a fat birds arse on a council estate in Denton on Friday,how many other jobs give you that opportunity?

Been doing it 9 years now after being office bound for 12 before.Would not change it for the world.Every day is an experience and you see every aspect of humanity,you never know what you will find when someone opens the door.

Did i mention i love it and i actually have the patience of a saint?

I'm a data collector for an international multi utility company.

In plain english i read gas and electric meters,work whenever the feck i feel like it within reason and i feckin love it.

Oh, IM, putting toast together to get it soggy, wrong wrong wrong. Wrong. At risk of sounding ever so slightly anal about how toast should be made, it should be toasted until really only just done, then left in the toaster for about half a minute, turning it upside down to allow the top half to remain hot inside the toaster and the bottom half the chance to release steam. This gives you the chance to have the butter ready, having spooned it up with your warmed knife. Using both sides of the knife to ready it. Then, spread quickly, put onto hot plate and eat immediately.

Well if we've moved on to toast now,it's gotta be well done,even slightly burned as well.Can't beat that charcoaly carbon taste.The butter has to be cold,cold,cold preferably recently out of the fridge,what's with the warmed knife it'll slide off,to get maximum thickness spreadability on said bread product.

Crisp butties,bread or muffin and what flavour?

Do you think it's too early for a lap of Dovestones?

This is true.

 

Marmalade is made with citrus fruit innit?

 

Jam is best served on a cake, with cream. Or cooked in a suet pudding. Mmmmmm. I don't get putting it on toast, toast needs to be eaten really hot.

No you put a few slices of toast on top of each other so they go a bit soggy.Separate 'em out,then butter,then jam.

How fecking cathertic is this after that pile of steaming rubbish today.

What we need is Mads perspective on this,she's the Delia Smith o phile.

Marmalade is a tool of the devil,dis feckin gusting stuff,looks like it's been made from the bile of demons (or is that lemon curd?),whatever it's crap.

There i feel better now,did we have a game today?

Raspberry, of course. But it's got to have a really high fruit content, and be sweetened with fruity sugars rather than sacks of castor sugar.

Gotta be Blackcurrant,but none of them seed bits in,smoothed on hot buttered toast or layered liberally on uber fresh thick white warbys mmmmmmmmmmm.

Can i just say god damn you to hell Murdoch and Branson for your bloody feud,sky sports one seems to have feckin disappeared and i'm tyrin' to watch Celtic v Saints.

It's not football LL it's a little rant about those two barstewards feckin up my world.

I would like to re-iterate the point that YOU ARE NOT MEANT TO TALK ABOUT FRIGGIN FOOTBALL here.

Point taken and apologies m'lud.

My fingers just got carried away and i felt a strange release as they did their work,ooh er missus

Ok newbies,what's your favourite flavour of jam?

How's that for an insightful and illuminating topic.

You can tell a lot about a person from their favourite flavour of jam.

That better Mr Moderator?

My mother had hers done too - started to tell me about the needle going towards her head - I started heaving and ran away! Now IM, do you see why we call her Norma?

I now have the perfect mental image Gill

I know we had the why i hate Man Yoo elsewhere,and i try,i really do try to be big and grown up and not let it get the better of me,honest.

However........

During the game Tuesday a red fan mate text to see if i was watching their masterclass,told him i wasn't and i got the reply "huh call yourself a football fan".

CALL MYSELF A FECKIN FOOTBALL FAN,WELL YES I DO ACTUALLY AS I'M NOT A BANDWAGON JUMPING :censored: WHO ONLY FOLLOWS SUCCESS YOU :censored: :censored: NOW :censored: :trollarse:

Same lad e mailed me a wallpaper of the scoreboard at full time.

And they wonder why people get the hump at 'em :angry:

You and 400 other people who never post on here probably!

Anyone can get an 00 on here Mads,it's t'other that's the daddy

Only jealous cos i didn't see it first,when i'm reading on here i never notice the post numbers!!

Stipey a time lord eh,it's all adding up.He regularly swaps realities from here to another world where he inhabits the nether regions and apparently he has a cloak of invisibility 'n all.I saw it,or rather didn't on Satdy when he apparently vanished from the Chaddy End whilst still being there at half time when i was lookin' fer him.

Actually maybe he's tryin' to tell me summat