inspectormorose

Just pm'd you.

Like i said,missed last week due to drunkeness and the weather but at least the weather is going to improve.

Got a silver wedding barbecue Saturday so as long as you don't mind skirting vommed up spare ribs and Stella around the penalty box i'm in as is the nephew,so that's 2 then.

I may be there. I feel a bit like death at the moment. Think Beardy's up for it too. We'll have to check for water loggage beforeheand!

I'm out,rough as a bears.Be waterlogged anyway.

But drugs and alcohol had nothing to do with their respected madness eh?

That's not madness that's a night out

That's quite a squad young Jonothan is assembling,could be worth a bet,wonder what odds we are :mmm:

Stipe whadddaya reckon

Which famous people do you share your birthday with....28th june oafc2004 and Ian Beale off eastenders

Being as old as god(should you believe in that load of old toss,although i am omnipotent,doctor gave me a lolly stick and an elastic band when i told him,bddum tish,i know i know very poor ),it's who shares one with me.

Beckham 2nd May.

Nice to know his parents timed their shag so he could be so blessed as to share mine.

From memory i have Jimmy White and Isla St Clair (the older readers will remember her),Frank Hoosenhower inventor of the skunk whip,Craig Mcblane drummer with Idaho,Denny Portadown captain of the never to be forgotten Unforgettables (Stenhousemuir 1923/24 squad,as recounted in the book "See youse ya Bastit,yae want sum")

Anything by Puff Daddy but especially that feckin "I'll be missing you" :censored: .

He can't dance either,you'd think someone who allegedly lived in fear of someone sticking a cap in his ass would have a bit of movement about them if only to dodge the bullet

November is just fine, as is Claytons, as long as one of you lot guarantees the absence of dog turds, crack phials, hypodermic needles and other litter from the field of play.

That's half the fun,especially when you've been on crack and can't remember which needle on the pitch is yours to inject the dog shyt with.

You know you live down south for a bit and it all goes Pete Tong

We had 8-aside. Very hard work on a full size 11-aside pitch! And we played for over 2 hours! I'm very achey now .

8 a side on an 11 a side pitch,bugger.

That's me in goal next week then

Thanks for a good game people. Hopefully we'll be able to get a few more down next week.

How many showed up?

Will make the effort next week wi t'nephew,gave SW the lame excuse i'd been up watching Hatton and i was still fragile.An afternoon in the pub has sorted that

Tell em the one about the nappy.

That would be the one that included "low level seepage" i presume.

SW you really should take a week off work,get on JK Latics,get the beers in,lock the doors,shutter the windows and load up original,soon to be 6000,big thread.Some of the stuff on there is best hidden away from public consumption

Only Celtic really,been going up there since 1988 when my best mate (whos dad is a Celt) proposed a trip to a cup game against Stranraer at Parkhead.One of the strangest days of my life as an english accent was not at all common on the terraces there at the time (that's actually an understatement).

Wasn't put off and have been going intermittently ever since,went to the UEFA Cup final in Seville in 2003 awesome day.

Funnily enough the mate who introduced me to Celtic moved to Perth a number of years ago and turned against Celtic after experiencing the Old Firms grip on everything from a Scottish perspective after moving,said it looked different from down here as an outsider but having to live with it day in day out in the press up there made him "see the light".He followed St Johnstone from then on.

Instead of boils on th'aris perhaps you should subject them to a months supply of naked OAP's?

A months worth,bloody hell no.

A couple of minutes was more than enough believe me.

Old age pornstars SW,whatever floats your particular boat like

We ain't gonna make it this Sunday now,maybe next week.

You can have a 5 a side instead

Was gonna stick this on the other big 'un but it deserves it's place in the sun.

Been back at work reading meters since Wednesday after my jollies up in Scotland and in 3 days i have seen 2 naked pensioners, one of each gender.Yes,you read that right.It's not what i would class as a perk of the job and is not something i necessarily want to see when i am a pensioner myself never mind now at the age of 43.

Wednesday,first day back step forward pensioner number 1,wandering up the lobby to the front door which had a big clear glass panel in.She's wrapped in a towel which she chooses to rearrange directly in front of said glass panel and me before opening the door.Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

:redcard:

Today knocked on another pensioners door,he looked through the bedroom curtains and obviously decides as it's another bloke knocking at the door it's perfectly acceptable to answer the door stark bollock naked. :sign0094:

Is it pensioners naturist week in Oldham and i've just not heard about it or have pensions shrunk that much in real terms they just can't afford clothes.

Oooooooh, that reminded me - moths and daddy long legs - I hate the way they fly at you,and also the way they fly round the light, making their shadow look like they are a metre wide!

Turn the light off Mads,problem solved

Just got two myself.

Lifts not at all happy with them,never have been.Spent two years at college tramping up 6 floors of stairs every day to avoid using the feckers,completely irrational,when i worked in London in catering used to use them no problem because i had to but as soon as i changed careers it was back to the stairs.I will still use them if there is no alternative but i ain't happy.It's not claustrophobia it's the thought of being suspended in a box by a cable over a long drop,so it's really cable breakage depth phobia i suppose.

Flying,another irrational one as i have flown twice a long time ago and at the time i didn't find it a problem (although i did find the rest of the plane applauding the pilot after a "bouncy" landing taking in a tour of the grass verge in Dubrovnik the first time i flew a bit odd ).As time has passed it's become a "thing" and i'd much rather travel abroad by train regardless of the extra time it takes.

One O'Clock

 

This Sunday (17/06/07)

 

Clayton Playing Fields

 

OWTB Teen XI Vs. OWTB OAP XI

 

All Are Welcome.

 

If you can make it for an hour for a friendly kick about, please come down. This Sunday on Clayton Playing Fields.

 

Confirmed:

 

Sheridans_World

Maddog

Beardy (Maybe)

Footy68 (Plus 6)

Just back off my jollies today,even more unfit than i was at the last outing.How the feck do you go on a healthy outdoor activity type holiday and put half a stone on in a week

Think beer may have played a big part,our cottage front door to the pub bar,10 seconds.Fatal.

Have to consult with my defensive partner lynchpin of a nephew,need his running to pull me out of the many holes i dig for myself in my Greganesque role

Chuck me and him down as maybes,niece has decided once was enough,girl.

So? Whats everyone doing next Sunday?

I'll be on my way to the Isle of Skye for 12 days so that's me out,mind i'm still sore now 2 days later (that's what you get for still thinkin' you can run around like a 23 year old when your 43 and haven't played in 20 years,answer is you can't ),but i'm certainly up for it when i get back if it's a regular thing.Might even get me half fit.

Ah. So that is you who stopped me scoring. The ball came across, just about to tap it in and you barely beat me to it. Quality tackle that. Not as good as that one on Sheridans World by that woman

 

I'm just suprised everyone who was out till 3am last night wasnt sick. You could see the one's who'd been out. We were all lying on the ground after 5 minute's.

 

Sheridan's World counting and shouting out how many time's I slipped on my arse. I think it was about 18 by the end of the game. Own fault for wearing trainers. Some good players there, just a shame they all seemed to be on the opposite side

 

pish Heads Athletic 4-7 Sober FC.

Sober FC my arse,went through 10 pints of Stella over the course of yesterday and finished it off with a bottle of wine split between me and the niece (who was the other girl on the pitch) in the early hours of this morning so don't come the ooh we were ill cos of drinking malarkey that's why we lost

Didn't realise that was Sheridans world but even from the other end of the pitch i cringed at that,that was a proper tackle

You had better all turn up. The weather at the ground is overcast with an odd spot, and I mean an odd spot of rain. See you all in an hour. Oh and including me I'll be bringing 7. And one last thing, no Latics shirts. I don't like scoring against the Latics in any form.

That was good fun,thanks for organising that.Nice to meet you Footy68 and Ackey,no idea who anyone else was apart from Beardy.I was the big galoot with grey hair pretending to be a left back/centre half/where the feck am i playing on Ackeys team.First time i've played for 20 years that,second half i was bolloxed and any meaningful running was a wishful fantasy and boy are my legs hurting now good job there's much beer in the fridge to soothe the pain.Still,can't have been that bad as we won 7 - 4 with a man less (two if you count my efforts)

ok, I'm in... to hell with medical advice, it's over rated!

 

this is not a boot's-n-shinny's event is it!?

I hope not as i have neither but am trying to scrounge some boots off the nephew,if not it's trainers but like i say depends on the weather.

I'm a wuss!

I have left and right feet that will make me weep. Weak ankles, you see!

Hmmmmmmmmm might have to be a pay as you play contract then.

Seriously, though, I went to an all girls school, never played football properly apart from 4 lessons we had with John Platt and the other 'Community' geezers at school, and kicking about with the lads a few times when I was about 8.

 

It won't be a pretty sight if I do play! I am possibly the least fit person you'll ever meet, as anyone who's ever seen me at the gym will verify!

John Platt,now your admitting to having professional coaching,can't play my arse

I ain't kicked a football in anger in nigh on 20 years as you may well see on Sunday but i still have a left foot that would make Holden and Eyres weep and not for the right reasons.

Think I'll be wimping out, as what was originally billed as a kick-about, now sounds like a scary, competetive, scary match.

Trust me Mads if the niece does get her arse out of bed she'll be more than a match for the blokes (well in the swearing stakes certainly )you and her in midfield,me being Gregan (that's giving away goals and blaming everyone else)and our Tom in net.

Ladbrokes are :censored:ting themselves over the amount they stand to lose especially if Beardy is on our team as well,a man more built for football i've never seen.Are you allowed to drink while the game is in progress

Chuck me down as a definitely maybe (depends on the weather ) along with the nephew and maybe the neice if she can get her drunk up arse out of bed and wants to do it.

Nephews a keeper and reckons Wayne wouldn't beat him if he played all afternoon (you and beardy met him before the James gig in Wetherspoons but i really really think you would have no memory of it given the state of you both ) .

He's a confident wee fecker

I was more hinting at it would be 7 or so miles back then!

 

As for Rochdale Road, i have seen cars struggle to get up there, including my old one!

I know,you would think so but it was billed as a 10k,Latics ahead of their time eh who'd have thought that.

Rochdale Rd was a "surprise" i can tell you.

Following wind all my own doing Stipe,quite possibly,my training regime consisted of no beer for 4 weeks drinking only Appletize (I am sure i thought it had some sort of mystic isotonic property even before isotonic properties were heard of) and ever lengthening nightly runs but on the flat,didn't make me run faster but i didn't half burp a lot.