leeslover Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 PARLIAMENT EMITTING ANGRY PURPLE AURA, SAY HOMEOPATHS 23-02-10 MEMBERS of Parliament who criticised homeopathy have badly knotted chakras and are emitting an unhealthy purple aura, it was claimed last night. Big Ben yesterdayAs a committee of MPs said the not-medicine was 14 times less efficient than writing a letter to Jesus, homeopaths claimed the report had no credibility because it had not been buried for two weeks in a cocoon of damp horse chestnut leaves, directly over the right kind of ley line. Not-Dr Julian Cook said: "The House of Commons is giving off the same aggressive, dark purple aura that you get from a GP's prescription or a box of paracetamol. "These MPs have obviously neglected to re-mineralise their chakras but I can fix that with a simple course of quartz therapy and a tincture of henbane rubbed into their belly buttons. In exchange for some money." The report could see government funding into the not-treatment being stripped back to £1 as according to homeopathic theory it will have the same effect as giving them £100 million. Practitioners will apply for one penny of the new budget and then be advised to shake it vigorously in their bank account. Committee member, Denys Finch-Hatton, said: "Their account will 'remember' the millions we used to give them and they can then try to buy new clinics by telling the builders about all the money that used to be there." But Wayne Hayes, a registered Chi masseur from Carlise, said: "If these MPs are so clever then how come homeopathy is endorsed not just by people who watch Living TV but by a wide range of actresses, pre-menopausal television presenters and the Prince of Wales? "That shut you up, didn't it?" linkage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddog Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Someone's off work and bored. Not got any accounts to be looking over at the club? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 Someone's off work and bored. Not got any accounts to be looking over at the club? Someone's at work and bored. Not got any minds to read??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddog Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Someone's at work and bored. Not got any minds to read??? Har-de-har! If that were true, the stories I'd tell!.... No, just having an early lunch, due to meetings all afternoon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 There was a homeopathy advocate on BBC News this morning who was emitting a distinctly purple hue by the time the psychologist sat next to her had scientifically ripped her to shreds. I almost felt sorry for the pre-menopausal, woolly-headed bint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ackey Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 I almost felt sorry for the pre-menopausal, woolly-headed bint. Almost being the key word I hope? I came up with what I think is frankly a wonderful idea on how to show homoeopathy for what it is... Step1: Take all homoeopaths into a room. Step2: Break all their legs. Step3: Give them a bucket of water, a rose-leaf and a mortar and pestle. Step4: Laugh your tits off as they try to "cure" themselves. Step5: Keep laughing. Step6: Take a break, you don't want to injure yourself around these quacks. Step7: Laugh some more. Step8: Finally help them with some real medical treatments. It's the right thing to do, after all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddog Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 There was a homeopathy advocate on BBC News this morning who was emitting a distinctly purple hue by the time the psychologist sat next to her had scientifically ripped her to shreds. I almost felt sorry for the pre-menopausal, woolly-headed bint. They're clever like that, Psychologists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Almost being the key word I hope? Damn right. They're clever like that, Psychologists. Don't I know it - my sister is a lecturer in psychology at Aston University... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thelaticsfan Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Almost being the key word I hope? I came up with what I think is frankly a wonderful idea on how to show homoeopathy for what it is... Step1: Take all homoeopaths into a room. Step2: Break all their legs. Step3: Give them a bucket of water, a rose-leaf and a mortar and pestle. Step4: Laugh your tits off as they try to "cure" themselves. Step5: Keep laughing. Step6: Take a break, you don't want to injure yourself around these quacks. Step7: Laugh some more. Step8: Finally help them with some real medical treatments. It's the right thing to do, after all. says who? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 (edited) says who? Anyone who believes in science more than they do witchcraft. Edited February 23, 2010 by garcon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ackey Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Anyone who believes in science more than they do witchcraft. I think they were implying we should leave homoeopaths to rot with a broken leg or two. Bold, but I think that would makes us as bad as them. If you were implying that homoeopathy works, well, then, erm... hahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Ah, good point. I think it best to treat them. By force if necessary. Otherwise, with the sort of crap they take in on a daily basis they're gonna start reaking something awful after a couple of days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 says who? Interesting point. And on that note, I suggest that everybody who wants to be treated with homoeopathic potions, crystals and astrology charts can do so, and let Darwin's Theory of Evolution do the rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorrro Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 let Darwin's Theory of Evolution do the rest. Darwin's Theory of Evolution is about 50 years behind the rest of the country's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ackey Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 Interesting point. And on that note, I suggest that everybody who wants to be treated with homoeopathic potions, crystals and astrology charts can do so, and let Darwin's Theory of Evolution do the rest. If it wasn't for the NHS having to pay for the damn stuff I'd heartily agree! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted February 23, 2010 Author Share Posted February 23, 2010 Darwin's Theory of Evolution is about 50 years behind the rest of the country's. Yes, but try getting them to change it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 50 years? I have a feeling it was much longer ago than that since the rest of humanity lost our webbed feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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