Beardy

I want a porcelain bowl from the gentlemans area!

That excuse has been written down allready!!

Gingerbread love!

Two Irish couples decide to spice up their sex lives by swapping partners. Paddy says "that was great, I wonder how the girls got on?"

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs You know the kind. So I'm in my room and figure, what the hell, I'll give her a call. "Hello?" the woman says. God, she sounded sexy. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room & give me one - No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby. Now, how does that sound?" She says, "That sounds fantastic ......... ........... but for an outside line you need to press 9."

This is what we hoped for as the majority of readers will have some sort of story to tell, and the ones who were unfortunate not to be around at the time can get an insight into each player we publish weekly. We appreciate everyones input into this and we will hopefully be able to do something more with all the stories!

You do know he will post more jokes now dont you Rich?

Is that Mustafa Pooh?

I can hardly remember any of the euphoria in the late 80's/early 90's, dont ask me why but it all seems a blur. But his managerial career highlight for me was that win at Wigan, the euphoria on his face at the final whistle, knowing we had just done a proper job on the best team in the league. Obviously others thought differently on his management, but you knew his heart was 100% into it!

That is a scandelous statement and i will see you in court! She actually said i look a trustworthy person!!! With my Muslim-esque Beard???

With my superor mind to hers! And the matter of a clean license, and i was summoned without a letter beforehand for payment of fine!

HAHAHA YOUR ALL MY BE-HATCHES! I came i saw and conqured. saw the magistrate, looked her in the eye and told her i was the Beard and she couldnt touch me. She took this into account, and waived the court costs! Moral victory methinks? Oh and Chickers, whats this about getting 110mph out of your shed on saturday!

Ya made it then you owd bugger?

Its all in hand my good man, Johnny Cochran is ready and waiting. Well if he can get OJ off, why not me???

Im in prison!!! Got to go to bloody court, ass holes, all because i bet a copper i could make it through his speed without him seeing me! Obviously i got it wrong!

Ive just had a text saying that Kilkenny was seen in Elk Mill, Next! Now i dont know if he is seeing a girl from Oldham but that seems a tad odd??

Be thankfull it was me and not Exile!

Welcome to the Boards, you are now free to post anywhere. Please have a glance at the rules beforehand and if you have any problems there is always a member of the team online. Cheers Beardy

I wouldnt pinch lovejoys bum, id hump his leg!

Im an athiest and im as dodgy as a street trader selling dodgy t-shirts! But you know what they say. "Atheism, is a non prophet organisation!" xxxxxx However, within the confines of my Atheism, I accept the absolute supremacy of His Holyness the Pope, and I request hundreds of hours of excruciating torture to purge my soul of it's evil nature. Including the comfy cushions.

Mark, just so you know (and Martin should know better!) we have a PM facility, if you would keep personal chat to it, as otherwise it clogs the board and certain information you give away may be personal, even if it is a relative. Beardy

Welcome aboard Andy, im sure you will get used to it. Also there are a few areas you may find interesting, regarding the Latics in the 70's, have a look in the media section!

Not if you told her it was a Skoda??? That would put any woman off, oh and it has to be a Skoda Estelle, she will leg it! Or you could be called Larry and have a big tash and come from San Fran!!!

Why not explain to her that you werent in the best possible state the other night and you feel it wouldnt be right as she would only have to put up with your late night drunkeness with your mates, and your constant trips oop north for the football and your high pressure job as a Fighter pilot, you just dont have the time for a relationship at the moment! But if she fancies making your willy wet a few times a week, then you can say you will take for a ride in your F-15. Worth a shot, i think???

Welcome Marco! You are now free to roam amongst the animals! Any problems, PM a member of the team, or post in the technical forum! Beardy