You fill out a form, turn up on time and pay a £50 membership fee.
Then, at your first game, we find a local football pitch. You have to do ten lengths of the pitch sprinting, necking a pint and eating a McDonalds double cheeseburger at both ends. Finally, once all this is done, you have to buy our beer all day whilst being chained to Dave.
Alternatively, you can just show up late, get drunk on a train and bring a (not necessarily good) sense of humour