inspectormorose

Cos i'm crap at admin of course Ta everybody,for the record i've joined Stipe on 43 not out and am planning on going for my century. I heartily recommend a diet of beer and curry should you wish to attain that milestone as i've been living off that for the last 25 years and never had a proper days illness (had plenty of days "illness" for work purposes but hey that's another matter). Does my boss secretly read this . Now if you'll excuse me i'm off for a birthday meal of..... Beer and Curry,whatever else would do .

Fecking awesome Jimi it was,it really was. Sorry to hear about the job. You'll have to mention to Mani about The Hungry Socks a band he used to play in before he was famous,get his attention that will.He used to booze in the Castle in Oldham of a weekend around 20 years ago and was in said band along with a childhood mate of mine Chris Goodwin who played drums (he actually had a try out for the Roses before Reni and didn't fancy it,allegedly even left his drumkit after the audition and never went back for it,last i heard he was a baker in Wythenshawe) and Clint Boon amongst others.They had a proper funny mentalist called Swinny as lead singer and were a darn good night out. Swin went on to reinvent himself as a solo artiste called Billy Big Bottom playing the Castle,seem to remember even at this distance in time a song he did called Crawdaddy Hole. The lyrics went If you've got the hole then i've got the pole now baby (repeated 4/5 times) second verse If you've got the gums then i've got the plums now baby (repeated 4/5 times) and that was about it. You can't buy class like that Gill you're welcome,luckily i didn't find out they had got one back until after the game had finished or i would have been cacking it.After the papal episode against Cheltenham i won't mention what you were planning on doing with Lidds after i let you know he'd scored the second.

Think the possible alluding to bum fun didn't "go down" well

Being one of the undead i rarely take a good photo,mirrors are a barsteward as well

Oh leave him be,it's obviously not de riguer to wander around downtown Tel Aviv with a dampened crotch For the record,the coach was late and we nipped,with my still damp crotch,into a delightful hostelry called Paddys Goose facing Chorlton Street bus station.Took us a couple of minutes to register we were the only mixed gender couple in the place one of whom had a damp crotch and was getting stares. Beer gardens are great

Aye that is true but that's another story John James yesterday was MAGNIFICENT,got to meet Beardy and Chaddy th' Owl.How much Vodka is it possible for a person to consume ,nice to meet you chaps hope you enjoyed the gig didn't see you fall out of the top tier.Was severely guilty of some very dodgy "dad" dancing myself at the gig but you know what i didn't feckin care,there was love in that room . We went down with my ma's best mates son and his girl,never met 'em before but got on like a house on fire so continued the party when we got back to Oldham on the last train.Top,top,top day out. Plan for today is beer garden at the Falconers and work can feck off tomorrow It's a wonderful life.

Self replying,tut,tut. Still in juvenile mode,just reading my Guardian guide prior to departing for work (2 hours ago it wasn't happening but it's amazing what super strength coffee can do for you ) and there is an article about number twos. Refers to them as bum biscuits and after dinner mince,never heard them called that before and it amused me a lot so i thought i'd share. That's the sort of stuff big threads were made for . Off to see James at the Arena tonight,can't bloody wait.

Just had a look at that Stipey and i must admit don't ever remember seeing it although i'm glad you put it up as the cheesy clip one on you tube had a video on the side bar that had a guy eating mentos mints then drinking diet coke to see what the result would be. Appealed to my very,very juvenile sense of humour. So thanks for that

Pats on the back all round then Know we discussed this ages ago on original BT,considering work plays such a huge part of peoples day to day lives being in a job you hate is just plain mad.If you really want to change it enough you will,well done Mr W for sticking at it to get what you want.

Glad you liked it mate,thanks for reminding me as well said i'd do Mr S a copy and it had slipped from my mind.

Which brings us on to embarassing situations,don't think we ever did this on original big thread. What's your most toe curling embarassing personal situation you found yourself in (or is this thread too easy for people to access and we won't play? ) One springs to mind,Moon Under the Water Wetherspoons on Deansgate a couple of years ago.Me and our kid were picking my ma up on a sojourn from Aberdeen,done some shopping went for lunch prior to picking her up.Went upstairs and sat as far from the front and only entrance as you could do.My sis tends to be very demonstrative hand wise when she's talking,as she made a sweeping gesture to illustrate a point she knocked my pint over,into my lap and onto my jeans. Wet spreadage was immediate,and we were sat as far from the door as you possibly could be (as i think i may have mentioned ). The looks of disgust i got as we trudged our weary way through a packed lunchtime central Manchester pub to get out were something else.I really wanted to stop,stand on a table and shout "I'VE NOT drunk MYSELF THIS DAFT BITCH HAS JUST KNOCKED BEER OVER ME" . Instead i just kept my head down and kept walking. Shameful. LL i know it's not a football thread but yesterday was pretty darn good,was disappointed the Record never had "Japs Aye" as it's banner headline today.Had to make do with "Kimono over to my place,hey you we're having a party" not anywhere near as good!

Read his gas meter not long ago,still lives nae far from Latics. He was havin' a potter round his garden,regularly rub shoulders with the stars me . Top man,i grew up with Frizz as our manager.Started going in '68/69 as a 4 year old when we got relegated to the basement (admittedly don't remember a great deal of my formative years as a 'tic) but i remember the good bits,the players he signed and the march he took us on as i watched wide eyed as a young 'un in the early seventies.Might have only been from the basement to the second division as it was then but to me it was magical. Fryatt and Shaw in 70/71 goalscoring machines,my first away games in the Champs winning season York and Chesterfield. Alan Groves,god that he was! Les Chapman,Vic Halom,Ian Robins,David Shaw back again,Stevie Taylor,Simon Stainrod,Roger Wylde. Maurice Whittle,always came out with his socks round his ankles,shinners were for puffs.Woody,there forever,always dependable. All Frizzells men(there's more i haven't mentioned just threw in the ones that came immediately to mind),all testament to his ability to sign a cracking player. Swore i'd never go again when he was sacked,lasted 3 games because ultimately the club is all people come and go in it's employ,but he was,is and will always be a Latics legend.

I've put Mike Yarwood on standby for today,i've heard he writes a lovely byline. Which particular faith group are we thinking of upsetting today,are we after bangin' buddha

Doesn't matter that you never met him in the flesh Beardy,you make a connection with someone regardless of whether it's over the net and something happens to them it's painful.Sad news. You too Gill,just because we may lose touch with someone doesn't mean we don't still think about and care about them.Hope you get to see him.

I actually had his holiness on speedial having negotiated exclusive rights with the Chron for the story.

Read like that to me LL ,but hey we'll let him off she's cast her spell and that's that Thinkin' of starting to call her Lorelei

Money isn't great,if that's a cheap attempt to get my half to pay for any future nuptuals you can feck right off John

Saw a fat birds arse on a council estate in Denton on Friday,how many other jobs give you that opportunity? Been doing it 9 years now after being office bound for 12 before.Would not change it for the world.Every day is an experience and you see every aspect of humanity,you never know what you will find when someone opens the door. Did i mention i love it and i actually have the patience of a saint?

I'm a data collector for an international multi utility company. In plain english i read gas and electric meters,work whenever the feck i feel like it within reason and i feckin love it.

Well if we've moved on to toast now,it's gotta be well done,even slightly burned as well.Can't beat that charcoaly carbon taste.The butter has to be cold,cold,cold preferably recently out of the fridge,what's with the warmed knife it'll slide off,to get maximum thickness spreadability on said bread product. Crisp butties,bread or muffin and what flavour? Do you think it's too early for a lap of Dovestones?

No you put a few slices of toast on top of each other so they go a bit soggy.Separate 'em out,then butter,then jam. How fecking cathertic is this after that pile of steaming rubbish today. What we need is Mads perspective on this,she's the Delia Smith o phile. Marmalade is a tool of the devil,dis feckin gusting stuff,looks like it's been made from the bile of demons (or is that lemon curd?),whatever it's crap. There i feel better now,did we have a game today?

Gotta be Blackcurrant,but none of them seed bits in,smoothed on hot buttered toast or layered liberally on uber fresh thick white warbys mmmmmmmmmmm. Can i just say god damn you to hell Murdoch and Branson for your bloody feud,sky sports one seems to have feckin disappeared and i'm tyrin' to watch Celtic v Saints. It's not football LL it's a little rant about those two barstewards feckin up my world.

Point taken and apologies m'lud. My fingers just got carried away and i felt a strange release as they did their work,ooh er missus Ok newbies,what's your favourite flavour of jam? How's that for an insightful and illuminating topic. You can tell a lot about a person from their favourite flavour of jam. That better Mr Moderator?

I now have the perfect mental image Gill I know we had the why i hate Man Yoo elsewhere,and i try,i really do try to be big and grown up and not let it get the better of me,honest. However........ During the game Tuesday a red fan mate text to see if i was watching their masterclass,told him i wasn't and i got the reply "huh call yourself a football fan". CALL MYSELF A FECKIN FOOTBALL FAN,WELL YES I DO ACTUALLY AS I'M NOT A BANDWAGON JUMPING :censored: WHO ONLY FOLLOWS SUCCESS YOU :censored: :censored: NOW :censored: :trollarse: Same lad e mailed me a wallpaper of the scoreboard at full time. And they wonder why people get the hump at 'em :angry:

Anyone can get an 00 on here Mads,it's t'other that's the daddy Only jealous cos i didn't see it first,when i'm reading on here i never notice the post numbers!! Stipey a time lord eh,it's all adding up.He regularly swaps realities from here to another world where he inhabits the nether regions and apparently he has a cloak of invisibility 'n all.I saw it,or rather didn't on Satdy when he apparently vanished from the Chaddy End whilst still being there at half time when i was lookin' fer him. Actually maybe he's tryin' to tell me summat