StipeTripe

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic skier? He traversed down a mountainside and boasted to his mate: "Here, did you see me zag-zigging down that mountain?" And his mate says: "You mean 'zig-zagging?'" The skier says: "No, zag-zigging." His mate replies: "I think you'll find it's zig-zagging." So the skier says: "Oh, it's pointless just arguing about it, let's ask the opinion of a neutral." So they go over to a bloke sat on a sledge and the skier says: "Here mate, can you settle an argument for us? Is it zag-zigging or zig-zagging." The bloke on the sledge says: "Don't ask me, I'm a tobogganist." And the skier says: "Well, in that case, I'll have twenty Benson and Hedges and a box of matches, please."

Arrrgggghhh Log Books, the very thought of them has sent a shiver down me spine.

Blinkin eck LL we had a Maths teacher, way back when O levels were proper exams, that was his standard joke. It wasn't funny then either Edit: Actually he just used to say that he worked it out with a pencil.

Yeah as in haven't got any! Talking of hair.... I finally read over breakfast today an article in th'Observer music suplement from a couple of weeks back. The main feature is about Radio 1. Mark Radcliffe recalls doing the breakfast show with Marc Riley (I'd forgotten they did that) where they did ""items like 'Trivial Hirsute' and 'Fat Harry White' "", quality entertainment it was and slips in there with the hair pie, come to think on it there is another link, hirsute, hair pie and Eastern European Ladies.

Yes that it, thats the very point of all this nonsense. Big bad Bazza is Director Barry Owen, maybe you knew that, maybe you didn't. I had an employee picked up by the fuzz once........ hang on wrong thread,

Like it Mads, like it. Nah then here's a long one, but its worth it, in terms of badness....... stick with it its worth it After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day. Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!" "No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry Window to his death in the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?". "I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied…………………. but his face rings a bell" WAIT! WAIT! There's more …… The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty." The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly. ”I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, but... ( . . Wait for it .. . .. ) ( .. . . It's worth it . . ..) He's a dead ringer for his brother.

Dyslexic bloke walks into a bra... Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night thinking about the existence of dog. Did you hear about the dyslexic rock star? Choked to death on his own Vimto. What does the dyslexic drummer do after a joke? "Ching, Badumdum" Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? Bought a warehouse.

No well its not really an in joke so no exceptions needed, cosI don't know what G(illian) is on about either, but then nobody ever does as I'm sure LL will confirm. She is 73 tho'. I winning

How'd you get 4 elephants in a Mini? 2 in the front 2 in the back. What do you call a woman balancing a jug of ale on her head? Beatrix What do you call a man with 20 rabbits up his aris? Warren Whats the quickest mode of transport under water? A motor pike and side carp

BigBadBazza6666, no don't ever recall seeing that username. Anyway G has been linking this in t'other long thread, summat about

Thats the trouble with this thread on this board, its just too easy to add posts. Mind I can see it easily passing the 6163 eleswhere, and it'll be like that crap one we set off to beat on the Bournemouth MB, crap as in I win No I win No I win I'm winning And so on and so on ad nauseum, cos doing that sort of thing on t'interweb to make a long thread is the truly original way to do it.

Its not the winning its the taking part LP Ha, LL added to a harem, splendid. Oi IM them thar linkys don't work

Seriously you are one saddo LP. C'mon LL spill the beans.

Just a couple of things, in old money that tackle probably wouldn't have caused a ripple, but the defender went to ground, took Davies and the ball out from behind and had studs showing, I thought that was at least deemed a yellow card offence these days. I'll lay odds now that we'll have one sent off in similar circumstances and it won't be rescinded. And in 30 odd years of watching Latics I can't think of a time when a large chunk of referees haven't wanted to be the centre of attention.

Nowt to be afraid about, didn't think it could be anybody else, good to see an "old" name knocking around. Talk about delayed reaction, you only replied 14 days ago, and I only remembered cos I saw you logged in just now!!

Which is why that Shrewsbury game is one of my all time favorites, at the time we didn't do comebacks, especially away! Oh and another, when we won 1-0 at Sjoke when Muggleton tried to tackle McCarthy wearing deep sea divers boots, at least thats what it looked like Edit: Hometown, scanned it ages ago, it was on the cover of the next home programme.

Yup ditto them IC, except Reading which I wasn't at. And I'll add Citeh 1 Latics 2 Tommy Wright double Citeh 1 Latics 4 Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Roger Sunderland 0 Latics 2 in the 86/87 play off season, Sunderland fans singing Mickey Mouse club at us before the game, then we wiped the floor with Sunderland on the pitch and we sang it right back at them Portsmouth 1 Latics 4 in the Championship season, they said we could on play on plastic, so we crushed 'em on mud! And final a real real personal favourite Shrewsbury 2 Latics 3 2-0 down at H/t and by the end we'd won the World Cup and Tony Henry missed a pen. Another Roger hat trick. And just for Hometownclub, Stevie Taylor scoring at Field Mill 26/11/1977

No just a psychoanalyst

I agree with what DS says up the thread. I'm on the cusp of me 31st anniversary which will be just after Northampton at home. Ans IC is right there were plenty of moaners in the "pinch me" era and just after. When we beat Sheff W 3-2 and half the Chaddy/Paddocks piled onto the pitch I was half way over the wall when this silly moo grabbed me by the arm and tried to drag me back into the Chaddy, she wasn't even a steward, but apparently amongst all that wonderful emotional fantastic euphoria I was "spoiling her day". The greatest most dramatic match ever at BP and all she could find time for was moaning! I've always thought that sums up some Latics fans perfectly.

If you watch the Championship and or FL Review on Sky one phrase that has been common over the last few seasons "Referee Trevor Kettle involved in a controversial......................." (fill in as applicable) He is abysmal every time, the only thing he got right after seeing it again was the sending off. The best (worst) moment was when Davies had a free kick given against him for letting the defender try and pull his shirt off Edit oh yeah and it was obvious from the off he was "after" Hughes

That shouldn't be in the plural though should it BB? He was only at Rotherham before us (except a brief caretaker stint at Tranmere) 1997 - 2005. And it took him 3 seasons to get promotion by the way. Not a two season plan then. 97/98 9th in 4th Division 98/99 Lost in play offs 99/00 Runners up. 00/01 Runners up again So thats a 1 year plan laterly and a 3 year before that, where did this 2 year deal come in

Well first off I didn't cheer when McDonald went off, and I didn't get involved in the adulation for Hughes either. The fact that you think McDonald did anything on saturday really sums it all up, he was anonymous from kick off to substitution. LL, I agree with what you say about the ref, he was gunning for Hughes from the get go, but I'm afraid thats going to happen time and again.

Oh really, so you are the original all seeing eye then? You chose not to see, because you're only ever going to watch the guy with one eye, others are wrong and your bob on, quality Coco you seriously couldn't make it up.

Ok ok ok we know you don't want Hughes at the club, fine thats your opinion, but hell fire give it a rest eh Coco, its getting tiresome now.

On the long thread over on what was JKL we toyed with a "Word of the Day" item, I think it could be quite good to resurect it here. Todays word is CONVENIENT