Crusoe

Christ. Why would anyone want to join this club when fans are moaning before they even step on the pitch. Unbelievable.

Ah well. I was nearly right. Hope it still comes off tomorrow.

Heh. One of you has guessed correctly.

He's a striker, between six foot and six five in height, depending which site you read.

BigFin, I'm on a mobile as this site is blocked from work. You'll have to keep guessing!

Official text says signing due today...

That's all folks - let's wait and see whether I've been given good information about tomorrow's signing or whether I have to put my hands up and take the abuse.

Just to repeat: the striker is signing for a five-figure fee tomorrow (Tuesday). The midfielder (experienced, has played mostly at Championship level) is one we're after but there's competition and he may go elsewhere (and, as I said above, I don't think he's been linked with us before).

No messaging, sorry, if it gets out that may be the last tip I get. Judge me by the end of the day tomorrow.

Heh.

Yep. Me too. And I could be wrong - it could be duff information. I'm hoping not, though.

I'm trying not to give the game away. The midfielder is experienced and has played mostly at the Championship level.

Five-figure fee. Midfielder is a name I don't think has been linked with us already, but as I said there's stiff competition for him so we may lose out.

So I get home today to find a message from someone in the know at BP who names two players we're after, one of whom is signing tomorrow (Tuesday 27 May). (There's a convoluted story about why I have this message.) I'm not going to name the players involved, as it feels a bit rude to come rushing to a message board to share a private message, but since I never normally hear any gossip I'm interested in seeing if this turns out to be true. Obviously you can choose not to believe me one bit but I've never posted a "mate of a mate told me" story before. There will be a striker signing tomorrow for a decent transfer fee (not a free), and we're chasing an experienced midfielder who's played at Old Trafford (although there's stiff competition for that signing so it may not come off). (And no, it's not Paul Scholes.) I will be happy if these signings come off. They are the quality of player that we should be striving for (and can realistically get!).

Oh, please pull this one off, Donny.

I want to see Donny win, despite having a number of Leeds-supporting mates. Bates has been a disgrace over the points penalty, and - while not the fans' fault - the general (mis-) management of the club over recent years means I want to see them suffer a little longer yet. I can't hate Donny just because of Wellens.

I confidently predict that at some point they'll collide with each other and, in an inspired homage to Station in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, they'll merge into one awesome super-midfielder. Possibly Danny Boshell.

Haha. Gabriel Clarke has to calm van der Sar down after he starts his post-match interview with "F*cking hell!"

Bigger than Dundee United or Preston? Nope. Preston - average attendance this season 12,753, FA Cup winners twice and runners-up five times, one division higher than us. Dundee United - average attendance this season 7,650, league champions once, cup winners once and runners-up six times, UEFA cup finalists once and European Cup semi-finalists once, current Scottish premier members. I'm not trying to do us down unfairly, but come on - as much we love our club let's be realistic about where we stand.

Liverpool have signed Philipp Degen, a Swiss international, to play at right-back. He'll compete with Alvaro Arbeloa for that position. They also have Finnan, although rumoured to be on his way to Fulham. Eardley would be third-choice at best. He'd be a fool to move; I think this is old, re-hashed paper talk.

Clubs often keep an eye on players for many weeks or months. Why isn't it possible that we've been watching Fleming for a while and seeing how Gretna's situation turned out? If they'd survived and he was under contract maybe we couldn't have afford the fee (or not wanted to pay). I don't believe "couldn't be arsed" at all. We knew we'd need another keeper next season. This rumour's a load of rubbish.

Was that addressed to me? Personally, I don't feel that a 32-year-old with a poor injury record is someone we should be aiming for. He was great as a player with us before, but I'm not convinced he'll be the same again now (if he proves me wrong at Shrewsbury then fair enough).

Good luck to him. Not convinced he was what we need now, but I wish him well.

Farnborough FC (ex-Farnborough Town FC, RIP), champions of the British Gas Business League Southern & South Western Division 1, are my second team (that's where I was brought up). I also keep an eye out for Brescia (I loved them when they had the attacking Romanian players, including Hagi) and Dunfermline Athletic (because of a girl I knew at university).

I was at a mate's wedding in Stevenage, slowly melting in a full morning suit in the heat. It's a bit hazy after that, but I think there was some lager, some wine, some spirits, possibly some dancing, and an inexplicable headache today.