24hoursfromtulsehill

Watch out for news of the morphine and codeine shortage. That's me that is.

This is another reason why I'm up on the highest plateau, where at dusk you can see the shadow of the mountain stretching out towards the curving horizon, where the stars come out in the daytime, where the sun and moon can be seen together in the sky. What I don't know about predicting isn't worth knowing, and yet it's all out there...open source can-do. 11v11 for attendances. Scorepredictor for the scores. Centre forward is the most likely to be first scorer, even at Latics. And then you sprinkle some magic and go against the betting once in a while to rack up 11-pointers and maximums. You can just feel it...if you have the necessary talent, which none of you has.

Snap! Sort of. I'm on crutches till mid-October at least, although I'm gonna try to wangle a wheelchair when I go for my orthopaedic appointment on Friday.

Excellent start by Gravity Grave, but you've got to worry about the lad's consistency. He's obviously the only one not to get sucked into the general mood of optimism over the summer, what with us having contracted players and other luxuries unheard of in the past few seasons. The real interest in the stiffs division is how fast Harry Bosch can sink to rock bottom after getting found out bigstyle last season in the big league.

Never send to know for whom the bell tolls.

Yep. It's a thumbs up from me as well, but I'm in the cosseted area of the country where we have decent broadband and what not. Someone must stop Roy from kicking the cable out though. Tie his legs together or something.

I think I've got the answer. I need to GO TO A FUCKING GAME.

It's never bothered me before but I'm hankering after the pictures. I know it's wrong.

Aye. At least we know now who out of Gordon and Roy has been kicking it out all these years.

It just cut out for about a minute. Nothing different from Latics Player really.

I'm listening from the UK on my phone (after I cracked the puzzle of downloading the app). It's fine. Might try the shady VPN manoeuvre if anyone abroad actually sees any pictures. And the purists shouldn't worry. I'll go to as many games if not more than I always go to.

The punters see me more as a Roy Keane type. It's hard for someone like me, as a pundit, to empathise with the try-hards and wannabes. I was even more of a cunt as a player...but that's what it takes if you want to lift the big trophies.

^Obsessed. The three of you. Absolutely embarrassing.

And yet there are still desperate attempts to get the most coveted Predictor back into the fold. You showers of shit. I've told my lad not to bother with you tinpot shithouses.

Pretty much, as it turns out. The moral of the story is if you're gonna selfishly do someone a bad turn at work, make sure their granddad isn't sick and their boyfriend isn't a dud. This is if you're someone like me who finds it very difficult to enjoy the misfortune of others.

Congratulations rude. You've excelled yourself in coming first where the aim is to be last. You genuinely are the Lord of Lumpenness.

So I did this thing and this other person sustained a little bit of damage and it wasn't too bad for me and I got what I wanted so that's okay. And they're a Man Utd fan, so it's all grist t'mill. Then their grandad died and their partner lost their job. Straight to hell. Do not pass go.

Nope. I'm retired. My theoretical offspring might have a go though. Just depends on whether the powers that be can accept someone with such awesome hypothetical genetic credentials. The championship would be a piece of piss for the contingent lad.

You tell him Joe. He's not fit to lace your predicting boots.

Fair play to Corney for seeing that the results of the part-time strategy were poor and giving it up. Has anyone set up a shit or bust thread yet? PS. What's all this AND STAFF nonsense about?

I did it anyway. Whatever it was. Pissed as a fart. Absolutely mortal drunk. I'm pleased not to have done more social media damage. Good discipline all in all.

Turns out my imaginary lad can't enter because he's not on OWTB, doesn't have a bank account and isn't allowed money. (I'm trying to bring him up right by depriving him of everything so he gets used to the idea of working grimly for no reward, recognition or fulfilment for the rest of his life.) I've said I'm willing to lend him the money as long as he understands the concept of usuary and crippling interest rates.

Genuine dilemma. There's millions of things I'd do to a MUTV fan to hurt them, even if it meant a certain amount of collateral damage. But we all know that the first commandment is THOU SHALL NOT GRASS. I can carry the consequences Simple question. Upboat for hurt, downboat for don't hurt.

You're just a tiny bit late with this, but it's okay. It's absolutely fine to wait for the earth to orbit the sun three times before making a joke someone's already made. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Are there no depths to which you will not stoop? My son has broad enough shoulders for your shite. And given that he goes out with a supermodel, I reckon he has the balls for this challenge. But it's purely up to him. I won't interfere. The lad has to do things under his own steam.