leeslover Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 As someone noted for travel-related disasters, I am delighted to share an instance of someone else performing equally as well as I can. Last Friday was the birthday drinks for two of my friends, involving substantial quantities of very strong Belgian beers in a pricey place in London. Knowing that I had to be up early the next morning to get the train up for the match, Richard Branston used his mind control technology to to make me think it would be a good idea to get a “6-stick” of different flavoured schnapps. This was followed by a 16, then a 32, then another 32, then another 16 etc, so between 7 of of still there when they started we got through well over 100 of them in the final hour before closing. One of the birthday boys decided that he was going to have a Burger King, despite his wife shouting at him that he would miss the last train. She gave up bothering and told him she would meet him at the station. She called him when she got to Marylebone, at which point he dropped his hugely expensive work phone – he had been told he would have to pay for the next one he broke or lost, him having a habit of smashing them to pieces when he has a temper tantrum. He then got on a tube going the wrong way. Realizing his error, he went back. In a bit of a rush, he fell down an escalator. This would be hilarious enough even if he didn’t have a pannier packed full of lovingly stolen fancy beer glasses which he had nicked from the pub, as well as a Lees one he had stolen from Gay Gareth’s wedding, forgotten, and incessantly nagged another friend to recover for him. He eventually got to the station to find he had just missed his train, his wife had left him to it and he got a taxi home for the bargain price of £100. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inspectormorose Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 One of the birthday boys decided that he was going to have a Burger King, despite his wife shouting at him that he would miss the last train. Did she resist the urge to say "I told you so",i would imagine not.Quality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Did she resist the urge to say "I told you so",i would imagine not.Quality. No, but she did send me a text alerting me to the urgent need to mock him for what had happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 As someone noted for travel-related disasters, I am delighted to share an instance of someone else performing equally as well as I can. ...He eventually got to the station to find he had just missed his train, his wife had left him to it and he got a taxi home for the bargain price of £100. He didn't mind all of that and then the next morning he was devastated - the only glass he broke was the Lees one. P.S. Was the birthday bash at the Belgo Centraal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 He didn't mind all of that and then the next morning he was devastated - the only glass he broke was the Lees one. P.S. Was the birthday bash at the Belgo Centraal? Nope, the Bierodrome on Kingsway, near Holborn. They sell this, which accounts for some of the drunkeness. Oh, and if I had a son who travels across Manchester trying to tempt people with Marmite sandwiches I wouldn't be rude about Northern delicacies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StipeTripe Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Hahahahahahahahaha I win. Like the avatar IM, superb Saw a programme a while back where Stephen Fry extolled the virtues of swearing and pointed out that anybody who said it wasn't necessary was a flipping lunatic and also said that those who claim swearing shows a lack of vocabulary are in point the very people who have a the smallest vocabularies around. So if national treasure Stephen Fry who has a brain the size of a planet or six says its good and alright then i chuffin well is big and clever. Marmite sandwiches??? How very southern I've just eaten me butties for me dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Oh, and if I had a son who travels across Manchester trying to tempt people with Marmite sandwiches I wouldn't be rude about Northern delicacies. He insists on doing missionary work - spreading the gospel about Burton's finest throughout the land. The only similarity between Lees's brewed in Middleton Junction and Delirium Tremens produced by Huyghe Brewery in Melle is that both places begin with the letter M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Morning all. Now then. Phil Spector - (don't worry, I'm not about to discuss his current problems) what I need to do however, for anyone who can be bothered, is establish his best ever song. I suppose this should be on a music thread but I'd just like to keep it on here between my old pals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Phil Spector - what I need to do however,... is establish his best ever song. Best Single: River Deep - Mountain High by Ike & Tina Turner Best Album: A Christmas Gift To You. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Best Single: River Deep - Mountain High by Ike & Tina Turner Best Album: A Christmas Gift To You. Ridiculous. Inspector did me the fabbest CD ever yesterday and demanded to know that I agreed with him as to the best ever - I didn't, so I checked around the office and it seems I am seriously outvoted! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi7R5HU2vsE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Ridiculous. Inspector did me the fabbest CD ever yesterday and demanded to know that I agreed with him as to the best ever - I didn't, so I checked around the office and it seems I am seriously outvoted! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi7R5HU2vsE I picked River Deep - Mountain High, but there are so many other classics - you're asking me to choose between several I would rate between 99% and 99.9% perfection. The Christmas Album is indisputably the best ever! Baby I Love You is one of the best singles - here's another version of the song which I've always loved: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l4H9yZBjgSI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 I picked River Deep - Mountain High, but there are so many other classics - you're asking me to choose between several I would rate between 99% and 99.9% perfection. The Christmas Album is indisputably the best ever! Baby I Love You is one of the best singles - here's another version of the song which I've always loved: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=l4H9yZBjgSI Indeed, that is a brilliant version - IM, I'll have that please on my next shipment! Not Phil, but if you're of a certain age, how good is this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Phil Spector - A Tribute: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=K2qQDnuhxKc An insight into a flawed genius: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=TNpy33VoFKw WARNING: Contains the F-word! He also produced this classic, widely considered to be one of the best songs of all time: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jEOkxRLzBf0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Perahaps Phil could do versions of: Twenty Seconds To Comply - Silver Bullet Finger on the Trigger - Donna Summer Six Shooter - QOTSA Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles Shoot - Sonic Youth That'd be interesting... >>> ? <<< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Perahaps Phil could do versions of: Twenty Seconds To Comply - Silver Bullet Finger on the Trigger - Donna Summer Six Shooter - QOTSA Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles Shoot - Sonic Youth That'd be interesting... >>> ? <<< Hey Joe Delilah Revolver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inspectormorose Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 (edited) Indeed, that is a brilliant version - IM, I'll have that please on my next shipment! Not Phil, but if you're of a certain age, how good is this? See i told you it was the best Phil Spector but you wouldn't have it would you! To be fair there are that many good ones it seems a shame to pick one but it's just the HUGE HUGE sound on River Deep that i love. Be honest,you would like it if it wasn't sung by Tina Turner,it's just her you can't stand not the song. Not sure if i can let you have The Ramones as that doesn't fall into fm territory,far too good for that One of the best gigs i've ever seen was the Ramones,Manchester Apollo in i think 1985.Treeeeeeeeeeeeemendous. 18 with a bullet,another one for Phil to do. Edited October 8, 2007 by inspectormorose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 And maybe he should be thinking about: Jail House Rock, Folsom Prison Blues, however I can't think of any cellmate love songs... Hasn't Los Angeles got the death penalty? Uh, he might get out of that one though, because he's barking mad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diego_Sideburns Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 I am seriously outvoted! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zi7R5HU2vsE Not a Phil Spector production but it’s said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=bdAV7y18VcA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 And maybe he should be thinking about: Jail House Rock, Folsom Prison Blues, however I can't think of any cellmate love songs... Hasn't Los Angeles got the death penalty? Uh, he might get out of that one though, because he's barking mad. Killer on the loose - Thin Lizzy Murder Song - Cooper Temple Clause Anything by Bullet for my Valentine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leezyverpunk Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Great attempt everyone -well done - but I win! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 Great attempt everyone -well done - but I win! Oh dear, me thinks you will have to do a lot better than that love. It isn't about winning, this thread, despite the title, don't let that fool you! It is meant for deep and meaningfuls, so get contributing. I'm still really missing going to Latics, I'm just hoping that I can see a game in next couple of weeks whilst Hughes isn't playing - that sounds childish but there we are. I did manage to see some football last week - was in Coventry so saw Coventry beat Blackpool which pleased me no end. A little word about good manners, whilst I'm about it - a doorman in the lounge at CCFC held the door open for me and I thanked him as I walked to the stands - he muttered something to his mate on the other door about saying thank you, so I said "Beg your pardon?" He said "Oh its ok love, I was just saying to my mate, that you are the first person to walk through here tonight and say thank you" How rude are some people!!!!! What does it take to say ta to someone? And rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 I love Viz stuff me! Make people think you have an expensive car phone by calling them, asking them to repeat everything they say and then hanging up half way through their reply. Don't invite drug addicts round for a meal on boxing day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inspectormorose Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 (edited) Make people think you have an expensive car phone by calling them, asking them to repeat everything they say and then hanging up half way through their reply. That sounds suspiciously like every phone conversation i have with you. Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering minor cuts and grazes with strips of bacon. Anorexics,when your knees become fatter than your legs,start eating cakes again. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars,simply stand closer to the object you are wanting to view. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old tv or video remote up to your ear and occassionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb. Save electricity by turning off all the lights in your house and walking round wearing a miners helmet. Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers on "fast wipe" when you are illegally parked. Edited October 8, 2007 by inspectormorose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest gillianfn Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 (edited) That sounds suspiciously like every phone conversation i have with you. Ha ha - it does doesn't it? Funny - I actually ring you just as I am about to go down that hill, so that I know I will only have to suffer your for 2 minutes.... How can that be censored? is in the dictionary! Edited October 8, 2007 by rummytheowl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest oa_exile Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 How can that be censored? BBollockssss is in the dictionary! But not in the OWTB dictionary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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