24hoursfromtulsehill

But where did that money come from? Was this business meeting more like, in the vernacular, a "meet" or "parlez"? Where did the money come from if the guy was handing it around so freely? Far be it from me to propagate a slander, but were the friendly Scots talking about their thriving ice-cream distribution networks?

You besmirch the purity of love with your boasts of financial assistance. There's another word for people involved in those sorts of arrangements.

A serious suggestion, in fact. Promotion is still in the balance this season, and frankly I've seen nothing to suggest that we are catching the Man Utds and the Liverpools of this world. Is it not ime to put an end to a decade of underachievement?

Ten years and out?

My humble apologies for causing offence - but truth demanded frankness and honesty. I agree about the egg chasing. You get about 15 pages after internationals, with one Nigel after another lining up to say what went wrong or what went right, and who is cock of the dressing room and who isn't. They also have photos of said Nigels who, without exception, wear smart casual clothing--chinos, blue shirt with a couple of buttons at the top undone, loafers. I'm loving the clothing, but how many Nigels does it take to describe a mud wrestle? The coverage also has a moralistic flavour, which makes me think of Victorians, and the home counties, and other unpleasant things.

The Grauniad is not known for its coverage of lower league football. The NOTW has at least a little tiny report of games and often a larger one from one top game in all the lower leagues. For all its socialist pretentions, when it comes to football, the Grauniad is only interested in promoting the greedy league, with this rare exception. Most weeks, for the sake of being right on, women's football, which is rubbish, and in which no one but the participants is interested, gets more coverage than the lower leagues. Give me the News of the Screws any day.

Totally agree. I saw some random episodes from different series on FX, but only watched the first series from start to finish a few months ago on HBO on Demand. Half way through the second series on DVD and will watch the whole lot before I'm done. No doubt.

I once gave the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh the finger in Liverpool. I saw the limo coming but couldn't resist. Whenever I feel ashamed at my unpatriotic behaviour, I console myself with the thought that The Royal Couple probable think all the worse of scousers because of it. (They at least got the Full English version of the gesture.)

This roster of celebrity encounters is very interesting - to the security services. Is "I once slept in the same room as the Carry On star Charles Hawtry, who is a friend of my uncle" like "I am a friend of Dorothy"?

Yeah, that's partly true. I had that Elena Dementieva in the back of my cab once. Classy posture. She'd just got walloped by a Williams sister in the French Open final and arrived at Heathrow with nothing more than a handbag, which contained, among other things (spare pants, for instance, I dare venture) a packet of full-strength Russian cigarettes. She chain-smoked them all the way from the airport to Claridges. I carried a different girlfriend out of the Bonham-Carters, where a certain Mr. Kennedy was putting out fires in his throat with fine wine. This was many years ago, by the way.

Carlton Palmer: aesthete. Whodathunk it?

I am surprised that no one can muster at least one bona fide encounter with Nelson Mandela, the ligger's ligger, eternal friend of the celebrity gawker.

I'll never support "Oldham Athletic" after the cruel sell-out of Pine Villa. Up the Villa!

ITN also ran a story on the rights bidding farago, which stated that Setanta would be unscrambling the signal for the highlights at 11.30 that night. The footie was terrific, but not as good as it was on the radio. Setanta's highlights were fairly poor compared to ITV or BBC, and the punditry was absolutely shocking. Chris Waddle is more or less incomprehensible; McManaman, "Allardyce" and Venables wanted to say things about clips and action that the producer or whoever hadn't lined up. Also, there was some Shakespeare at the beginning, read by Colin Salmon, who was in recent James Bond films. I've read Henry V, but I missed the bit where the Croations join the French for a pasting at Agincourt. Completely over the top. The most frustrating thing was they showed the teams walking out at the beginning, then said that kick-off would be coming up after the break. Incredible. The adverts were for Setanta and a text line, which promised that a bevvy of alluring birds were waiting online right now to send you smutty text messages--for a fee.

Les Sealey. RIP.

"Crash" and "The Atrocity Exhibition" by JG Ballard. Anything by JG Ballard.

The singing was better in the second half when the drum went, no question. The Chaddy was quiet, and needs rousing (perhaps the top-of-the-table excitement is too much for them). Who better than LDB to go and give much-needed fresh vigour to a flagging section of the crowd?

Oldham 3 - 2 Colchester 6,723

Latics 3-1 Cheltenham Taylor 5613

Anyone heard the AC/DC song "Little Lover"? The story is as follows: the lead singer of a band spots a good looking chick in the front row, which leads to love. But is she legit? I confidently assume that the song is in jest, but it contains the lyric: "You had my poster on your bedroom wall...next to Gary Glitter". Did the rock fraternity know of Glitter's proclivities before everyone else, hence the joke? Also, Mrs Tulse Hill tells me that Glitter used to hang around her school in Hampshire - she was fifteen at the time and well past it as far as he was concerned.

I have an idea: let's trust the recruitment of the new team management to the guy who :censored:ed it up last time and who is about to leave. First "Barwick" goes after Big Phil, who's got some pedigree in the international game, but because "Barwick" acts as though it's a done deal, Big Phil won't have anything to do with it. We end up with "McLaren", who ish now Dutch, and who was clearly out of hish depth. Then "Barwick" presides over the expensive recruitment of Capello, and promptly resigns. Criminal mismanagement at the top, and lo and behold we're crap on the pitch. Whoda thunk it?

I'm not accusing him of being on drugs. I'm just saying that when someone - anyone - runs away from the field like that, I automatically think drugs, because of Ben " " Johnson.

I hate thinking that he must be on drugs. Ben " " Johnson has a lot to answer for.

If the person with the oldest news is to win this goddamn non-existent prize, it won't be you. Headline from the Eden Evening Chronicle, back in the day: "Adam pleads: She made me do it".

OBE for services to theatre?