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Guest sheridans_world
Some arse has driven into my car and buggered off. I hope they get a big boil on their arse, it goes septic, and they have to have a buttock amputated. :mad:

 

Right, now for the pub.

 

Also, to a lesser extent the guy that hit my car... only he was good enough to leave his insurance details, but still i hope he gets the whole boil on ass thing...

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Kinky. The last stag do I was at ended up back at the Stag's place watching dwarf porn, now that is strange. I still can't get the memory of a little three foot tall man pumping furiously away behind this enormously fat but otherwise normally sized women out of my head. Just thought I'd share.

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Guest gillianfn

Hiya people,

 

Not been this way for a while - and what do I find when I return? Still cheating our way to zeros and talking about dwarf pornography. Nice to see nothing really changes.

 

Hope everyone is well. I've had a strange couple of months for one reason or another. My pal has found out he has 2 brain tumours to go with everything else he is going through. What a vile and cruel illness to attack anyone, let alone someone so young. He is having radiotherapy to try and shrink the tumours but there is no surgery left to do now - it breaks my heart every time I think of it. Stark warning for any of us who think that a sun tan looks or feels good - Jon has never been a sun worshipper at all, but he must have been affected at some stage in his life, God love him. I have been researching his illness and trying to find surgeons and oncologists in America that may offer some hope - I won't rest until I have exhausted every area I can.

 

Football has been the last thing on my mind - did we get promoted? :blush:

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Guest sheridans_world
Kinky. The last stag do I was at ended up back at the Stag's place watching dwarf porn, now that is strange. I still can't get the memory of a little three foot tall man pumping furiously away behind this enormously fat but otherwise normally sized women out of my head. Just thought I'd share.

 

You really do have some very strange friends and end up in some very strange places huh Lees?

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Guest sheridans_world
Believe me, you don't know the half of it. I shield you people from the quirkier stuff.

 

Sounds like even though we dont know the half of it we are already knee deep in the quirkier stuff.... getting worried now.

 

I hope your 'friends' dont take that the wrong way!

 

 

*Locks and Bolts all doors*

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Sounds like even though we dont know the half of it we are already knee deep in the quirkier stuff.... getting worried now.

 

I hope your 'friends' dont take that the wrong way!

*Locks and Bolts all doors*

Well, to give you a flavour, I bet Mark and Big Finn between them have never had to take disciplinary action against a student who was found sitting in halls of residence cooking stolen food whilst his freshly laid turd was cooking away under the grill in the next kitchen. I had a lot on my mind writing my Best Man's speech for his wedding last year.

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Woo Hoo!!! New job for me!!!

 

Contract runs out at the end of July, budget cuts here to the tune of £30million and things generally going brown and sticky. My boss wanted me to stay but I need the security of a permanent job so I went and got one. The boss asked what she could do to keep me when I got the interview which just made me laugh.

 

I got two letters yesterday, one was my new permanent contract and the other was a years extension for my current job. I have accepted the new one and told the current one to stick it up their arse, with regret like.

 

I leave in a month then have two weeks in my new job before getting married and buggering off to Thailand for two weeks. Can't wait.

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Excellent news BT. Shame about that wedding business getting in the way when everything else is going great, but you have to take the rough with the smooth.

 

I'm now fully into my new role, not that there is anyone in place to come and relieve me of what I previously did, and in fact they haven't even gotten around to pretending to interview me for my new position. So two jobs for the price of the less expensive one. Smart.

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Well, to give you a flavour, I bet Mark and Big Finn between them have never had to take disciplinary action against a student who was found sitting in halls of residence cooking stolen food whilst his freshly laid turd was cooking away under the grill in the next kitchen. I had a lot on my mind writing my Best Man's speech for his wedding last year.

 

:shock:

 

No Lees, that is definitely a new one to me...

 

Have heard of a couple of turd in microwave incidents though.... and had one incident with some curious looking graffiti swear words, written in a smelly brown substance, on the wall of one block...

 

but nothing that sinks to the level of depravity you are talking about.... as we have come to expect :wink:

 

Would have loved to have heard that best man's speech with his parents in the room... "now then, i'll start with the story about when *XXXXX* cooked a turd" ...

 

Sure you had em rolling with laughter!

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:shock:

 

No Lees, that is definitely a new one to me...

 

Have heard of a couple of turd in microwave incidents though.... and had one incident with some curious looking graffiti swear words, written in a smelly brown substance, on the wall of one block...

 

but nothing that sinks to the level of depravity you are talking about.... as we have come to expect :wink:

 

Would have loved to have heard that best man's speech with his parents in the room... "now then, i'll start with the story about when *XXXXX* cooked a turd" ...

 

Sure you had em rolling with laughter!

I was quite subtle about it, only one of my mates, who they had thoughtfully put with all of the single girlfriends of the bride, drink 3 bottles of wine in a very short space of time and explained in graphic detail about how the groom had managed on separate occasions to accidentally have sex acts performed on him by a labrador and by a bloke in drag. Original Big Threaders know more about this guy than I think is fit for a more public airing, I'll tell you a few tales in person, preferably when you are feeling a bit queezy.

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I was quite subtle about it, only one of my mates, who they had thoughtfully put with all of the single girlfriends of the bride, drink 3 bottles of wine in a very short space of time and explained in graphic detail about how the groom had managed on separate occasions to accidentally have sex acts performed on him by a labrador and by a bloke in drag. Original Big Threaders know more about this guy than I think is fit for a more public airing, I'll tell you a few tales in person, preferably when you are feeling a bit queezy.

 

Tell em the one about the nappy.

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Guest sheridans_world
I was quite subtle about it, only one of my mates, who they had thoughtfully put with all of the single girlfriends of the bride, drink 3 bottles of wine in a very short space of time and explained in graphic detail about how the groom had managed on separate occasions to accidentally have sex acts performed on him by a labrador and by a bloke in drag. Original Big Threaders know more about this guy than I think is fit for a more public airing, I'll tell you a few tales in person, preferably when you are feeling a bit queezy.

 

Tell em the one about the nappy.

 

 

*Fits Shutters to Windows and Doors*

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Tell em the one about the nappy.

 

That would be the one that included "low level seepage" i presume.

 

SW you really should take a week off work,get on JK Latics,get the beers in,lock the doors,shutter the windows and load up original,soon to be 6000,big thread.Some of the stuff on there is best hidden away from public consumption :unsure::blink::shock::grin:

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Good to hear from you again G, pity its not in better circumstances the best of luck in your quest. I know from past experience that these things are not forgiving, as soon as one ray of light appears it fades, the only way is to keep moving forward, sorry thats a bit maudlin, but I hope you know what I mean.

 

 

Congrats on the new job BT.

 

 

Oh and I'd forgotten about the low level seepage, thanks !

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Guest sheridans_world
Is it a Shindig then?

 

This is not a shindig either.

 

Its multi-race, cross-gender gathering of homosapiens. Unless you include Andy... because then you have to say tri-gender. Andy is the third gender!

 

Lol, where do i come up with it? I must have been dropped as a baby.

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