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Last one to post wins


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Guest sheridans_world

You should get back up here and stop acting like ladies,

 

You two have just reminded me of a the John Smiths adverts, need a new one something like:

 

No Expensive Suits, No Chest and Waist Sizes, No Nonsense, John Smiths!

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest sheridans_world

I bought one of those festive 'big tasties' from macdonalds the other day, was very nice, bacon and cheese included!

 

Must try the mice and custard pies they are doing next, they are instead of apple pies of course.

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I’m not sure whether I mentioned this before, but some time ago my boss told me that he’d had a dream, in which I was being especially cheeky to him and he’d cracked me round the back of the head. I’d responded to this by saying, “I’ve got you now you :censored: ” Well, he has since moved on to another part of the company. However, he is in today and told me he’d had another dream, in which I’d told him I was leaving with two weeks notice. . He’d started to argue with me that I am on a longer notice period, but then realised that I am no longer his problem. The way he told the story strongly implied that this was a good thing...

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What better time to post than the night of December 5th exactly a month after bonfire night and 20days off xmas wooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 

18 days till xmas now thats the best time to post!!!

 

 

I WIN!!!! :first:

Edited by Davros
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Just come out of a meeting where we were presenting work, mostly mine, which was meant to save my boss from the very immediate threat of the sack from his boss + one. You would expect this to help you focus, but I somehow kept lnoticing that said Big Boss, who is female and younger than me, has the remarkable feature that her left nipple is on a constant cycle, taking about a minute each way, of changing from a large chapel hat peg to being completely invisible and then back again. A bit distracting to say the least.

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Guest sheridans_world

I was in the pub the other day and it makes me laugh how the older generation get dressed up to go to the pub.

 

Now dont get me wrong, i'm not talking your 75 year old steriotypical grandma wearing a mini-skirt and a skimpy top i mean in full dresses and the steriotypical 75 year old blokes in shirt and tie!

 

I cant help but dream of the day i retire so i'll never have to wear a shirt and tie again! Let alone think of wearing it to the pub!

 

Different generations and all that!

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Bah humbug. I got asked to do something fairly urgent at about 5 PM on my last day in work before Christmas - not a chance as I would need to leave my PC running for hours before I could even start on it, and I seriously wanted to go and get drunk. So I got someone to send some stuff to my private account and said I would do it from home. It took 3 goes of talking my boss through how to do the things I had left him instructions for, them about half a day of fighting my dad's PC. It's favourite trick is not letting you move the mouse from side to side for no good reason every other hour. I finally sent the stuff back, and my phone is OFF!!! :bblue2:

 

Although I might have got it all done yesterday if my old man hadn't taken my out for 4 pre-roast dinner pints of Lees when I was making solid progress :drinking45: :drinking45: :drinking45: :drinking45:

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest sheridans_world

....you've lost.

 

 

I boarded the plane in Sydney on Monday to come home. While waiting in the airport (in a queue funnily enough) a chap came up to me and started talking about Lee Hughes. I said he was doing very well, actually scored a hat-trick a few games ago (didnt mention it was against Millwall), the bloke asked 'has he been getting any abuse?' and i said 'he got loads of stick at Millwall, bunch of thugs.' To which he replied, good job i'm only and armchair Millwall fan then isnt it. :grin:

 

So kicked the trip home off fairly well. Another bloke (and his missus) overheard some of the aforementioned conversation and he piped up that he was an Arsenal fan who always liked to see United getting beaten etc. Asking who i supported and funnily enough he also asked about Lee Hughes (having not heard me and the Millwall bloke speaking about him).

 

I was doing well, two fairly long chats about football and 12000 miles away from home. That wasnt the end though, i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt infront of me!

 

Needless to say, that seven-hour flight was taken up mostly by talking about football. For the football starved (so easy to get withdrawels so far away) it was great!

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Guest oa_exile
....you've lost.

I boarded the plane in Sydney on Monday to come home. While waiting in the airport (in a queue funnily enough) a chap came up to me and started talking about Lee Hughes. I said he was doing very well, actually scored a hat-trick a few games ago (didnt mention it was against Millwall), the bloke asked 'has he been getting any abuse?' and i said 'he got loads of stick at Millwall, bunch of thugs.' To which he replied, good job i'm only and armchair Millwall fan then isnt it. :grin:

 

So kicked the trip home off fairly well. Another bloke (and his missus) overheard some of the aforementioned conversation and he piped up that he was an Arsenal fan who always liked to see United getting beaten etc. Asking who i supported and funnily enough he also asked about Lee Hughes (having not heard me and the Millwall bloke speaking about him).

 

I was doing well, two fairly long chats about football and 12000 miles away from home. That wasnt the end though, i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt infront of me!

Needless to say, that seven-hour flight was taken up mostly by talking about football. For the football starved (so easy to get withdrawels so far away) it was great!

..........i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt infront of me! and their stood Lee Hughes :grin:
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Guest sheridans_world
..........i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt infront of me! and there stood Lee Hughes :grin:

 

:grin:

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Guest oa_exile
..........i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt in front of me! and there stood Lee Hughes :grin:

 

:)

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I was doing well, two fairly long chats about football and 12000 miles away from home. That wasnt the end though, i boarded the plane, it had seats of 3-4-3. I was sat on the window seat on the right-hand side. I heard a bit of a racket and looked over to my left (and to my amazement) i saw a latics shirt infront of me!

 

What you missed, was that bloke mutter under his breath "Oh fiddlesticks, its that nutter with the broken megaphone... head down... keep quie.... oh bum, he's seen me...there goes my quiet flight home..."

 

Glad you were spreading the word even in Oz matey!

Edited by BigfinLatic
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BREAKING NEWS

============

 

The RSPCA has today issued flood warnings after reports started pouring in from all over Britain that it's actually raining cats and dogs. Due to freak cloud formations known as Cumulus Canine and Feline Nimbus, pets are raining down on houses all over the country. The RSPCA has launched emergency lifeboats to retrieve stranded animals from rooftops.

 

Mrs April Showers from Tewkesbury today commented,"It started with just a couple of kittens dropping from the skies and by lunchtime we had full grown rottweillers thudding onto the roof. The cats always land on their feet but the dogs are just slamming into everything. My conservatory was wrecked by a sudden flurry of Yorkshire Terriers."

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