g)
We print out every tweet, every Facebook post, every message board post, every blog article, every local news story about Connor Ripley this summer.
We shred them all into strips, add water and glue, and make a nine-foot tall gold-painted papier mâché colossus to be wheeled into goal on Saturday like a Trojan goalkeeper.
Score ten as our awestruck opponents prostrate themselves at the mighty feet of papier mâché Connor Ripley.
Playoffs nailed on.