Last one to post wins

[Guest gillianfn]

Aw, bless the children of Hartlepool, look what they do in their spare time:-

 

[maddog]

I'm supposed to be off to Dublin tomorrow for a nice long weekend. Hope the snow due doesn't mean I can't go/will be delayed (my mate at the other end would be unimpressed as she's having to pick me up at half 11 at night as it is) . Should be a good one if I do finally get there. Never been over to Ireland before, so will get to see some of Dubline, Kildare, and Carlow. The original suggested itinerary was to do lots of shopping, walking and drinking. I have managed to knock this down to minimal walking, no shopping, and 99% drinking, which was quite impressive, I thought !

 

Early finish today, which was nice. Although it would have been nicer if I hadn't had to spend the rest of it having mandatory training on Health and Safety, Fire awareness, Smoking awareness (which, despite my patch, just made me want a fag) and some other rubbish entirely unrelated to my job.

 

I was seriously losing the will to live at several points during the day.

 

I managed to buy some more de-icer when my last can ran out (you know, before I got to the windscreen ;) ), then yesterday, when the frost started up again, I managed to break the nozzle thing off after its first use, rendering said can useless. So I just went and stole some from my brother, who, since he runs a minibus company, had about 20 cans. I wouldn't fancy having to defrost 4 minibuses every morning before work. My poor little hand freezes at just having to do one car.

 

Haven't tried the hot water thing yet. I keep forgetting, and by the time I get to that car, I can't be bothered going back up stairs through 2 locked doors. Yes, I'm just a lazy arse.

 

Had my first gym session after my induction the other day, and it actually wasn't bad at all. It was even vaguely entertaining. And I can still move! First 2 (count em!) classes tonight. Step, burn and tone or summat (steps.........hmmmmmmm, tone.....ok, burn.....definitely not sure, especially as I am now aware of fires ;) ) and holistic fusion, which is apparently like yoga and meditation. Not sure I'll like that one, bit too much like rubbish for me.

[inspectormorose]

I'm supposed to be off to Dublin tomorrow for a nice long weekend. Hope the snow due doesn't mean I can't go/will be delayed (my mate at the other end would be unimpressed as she's having to pick me up at half 11 at night as it is) . Should be a good one if I do finally get there. Never been over to Ireland before, so will get to see some of Dubline, Kildare, and Carlow. The original suggested itinerary was to do lots of shopping, walking and drinking. I have managed to knock this down to minimal walking, no shopping, and 99% drinking.

 

Dublin is brilliant from my somewhat hazy recollections of it,3 of us went on a day trip that started with a Wednesday tea time drink followed by train to Holyhead on which one of the other lads fell drunkenly asleep so me and t'other drunk all the beer he'd brought.Early hours of the mornin' ferry more drinking but obviously guinness now as we were technically over the water,arrived about 6am feeling very refreshed.Dublin dart into centre,hearty brekkie.Tourist info half eight,where will we find a pub open.Directed us to the pub Thin Lizzy apparently started in (if you ask the barman he'll show you the rehearsal room they used upstairs) can't for the life of me,or the liffey of me ,remember it's name but at 9am it was rammed and this was a Thursday.

 

Sensible mate had one pint and went off sightseeing and buying books at the university book shop me and t'other went on an increasingly strange odyssey around various pubs leading away from the centre culminating in me playing the self proclaimed pool champion of Dublin for a fiver and beating him but he refused to pay me as you english won't get anything out of me,but when i appraised him of my Scots heritage he did pay up saying he wouldn't cheat a fellow celt then we ganged up on my mate (i was drunk it's allowed).

 

Found our way back to the Thin Lizzy pub,more beer all had a big row as sensible mate was now sensibly sober while we were now completely,totally and utterly :censored:faced.Ferry going back was late,last train home from Holyhead had already left when we got back so we somehow ended up in Llandudno Junction having got the first local train that came along having a lock in at the pub by the station before sleeping there.

 

Was nearly as good as the Amsterdam jaunt that ;)

 

Always shambolic when we go on an away day but hey that's half the fun :P

Edited February 7, 2007 by inspectormorose

[Guest gillianfn]

Question for all the Morrisey people? Is my brother being a fool or has Morrisey recorded a version of Gilbert O'Sullivan's "Nothing Rhymed"? Fabulous song - very underated performer, is Gilbert.

[leeslover]

FOR THE LOVE OF FlipING GOD!!!!

 

Only Original Big Threaders will have a clue as to what this means to me... But after losing at least half of my soul last summer on account of being Best Man to quite possibly the most uniquely depraved man with definitely the most awkward set of friends ever, I was looking forward to enjoying the view from the back seat at the two weddings I am down for this summer.

 

Well, I don't know what a Deputy Best Man does, but it seems I am going to find out. I think the idea is that I will be a liaison for the Groom's friends from Uni days, as the Best Man is from his home town and doesn't know any of tother lot. And yes, that would mean that once again I get to do the cat-herding trick with the same set of Flipers as I had to cope with last year.

 

Anyone who recalls Gay Gareth's impact on last year's wedding, including his utter conviction that the bridesmaid wanted him, although she told me he was giving her the creeps before he even spoke to her, and his subsequent "OA Exile" type stalking behaviour, and him making an underpant-clad lunge at another male party guest, will understand that I am not sure what I have let myself in for. Again. For lo, he is the Groom.

 

It is an honour of course and I acccepted.

 

PS, it is to a girl.

[DerekWilson_1968]

I have been a deputy best man, and I have to say I really enjoyed it.

 

The groom asked me to do it to arrange all the male friends that were going from Rochdale and Edinburgh, first to Durham for his stag do (where he was at Uni) and then the following week to Edinburgh for the wedding.

 

He and his then wife to be both worked with Rach and we used to spend a lot of weekends going out and getting drunk either down here or up there, and even four or five times on holiday. Some on here will even know Howard. In a very short space of time we grew to be very close friends.

 

Once the date had been set, I think it was the weekend before the Lashers game about 5 years ago, they came down and Kath asked Rach to be bridesmaid. They had known each other for years. Needless to say she was over the moon and we all went out and got bevvied. Kath was working in Manchester for the week and Howard in London. By the time the following weekend had arrived the girls had gotten less angry at Howard for wanting a day out watching the match (I was always going to be a no show for whatever plans they had on Saturday afternoon). So off we trundled, first to Preston to see the National Footy Museum and then off to Blackers to watch the mighty blues.

 

We were on the train from Preston to Blackpool when he asked me to do it, but also asked me to say nothing to Rach. It was going to be a surprise for her, I was to help organise everyone and then give a little speech at the wedding, it was solely Howard and Kaths idea. I have to say I was honoured.

 

We went up on the Friday night and a few of us took him out, nothing too dramatic, I was in charge of him as his Best Man (John) was up from the south coast with his wife and child so couldn't have a late one. We were back at the house by midnight.

 

Got up the next day and met lots of the male guests for breakfast, we did a pub that served us a fry up whilst all the girls had champagne breakfast in the hotel the wedding was at just off Princess Street. It was fabulous. Since John knew very few people at the service it was left for me to usher folk around, I managed though and we all took our seats and the service began.

 

Needless to say the Bride and bridesmaid looked radiant and everything was going smoothly until Kath asked to say a few words. First she thanked everyone for turning up then she just said 'I would like to invite one of our best friends to say a few words on our behalf. Wil, you can come up now but you're no to swear, my Mum is here'.

 

Rach started laughing but then when I looked at her face from the top of the service area she was crying, but with the biggest smile in the world on her face, before I started speaking she mouthed 'You steward of the bars' at me. I don't think I have ever felt so proud in all my life. It really did mean a lot to her that I had been asked to speak. I just grinned back.

 

Really is an honour to be asked to play a big part in the biggest day of your friends lives. I even managed 5 minutes without swearing got my round of applause and then we all went off and got pathetically drunk.

 

They went off on honeymoon and we returned to Rochdale, only to fly out a day later to meet them in Rome. We then went our seperate ways for a week then met up again on the Amalfi Coast at Sorrento. Really, really good friends.

 

Despite the fact that times have changed and me and Rach have now split up, I still speak to Howard and Kath quite often and I am glad I do, maybe I will even be able to get him to come down and watch the lads for a weekend again sometime in the near future.

 

KtF,

 

Derek.

[Guest gillianfn]

Could this be right? A deep and meaningful post from Director General, without one single swear word? Did your secretary do that for you?

 

I've never been a best person at a wedding but when my brother got married in 2002, he asked my Stephen to be his best man. Stephen was only 12 at the time so I helped him with his speech - he did a bit and I did a bit. Sadly, it was only 3 weeks after my dad had died so we were all still very raw, but on the morning of the wedding I woke up quickly having had one of my dreams about my dad. He was standing on the drive telling us all to hurry up and get in the car. I hugged him and said "Come on dad, you're coming aren't you?" He said, "No, I can't love, I can't be with you today, but you will have a really good day today" And despite everything, it was a lovely day - everyone had a good time, the sun shone and you know, I'm sure I felt my dad beside me.

[Stevie_J]

PS, it is to a girl.

It's not the bridesmaid, is it?

[beag_teeets]

As you know I am getting married this and the lad who is my best man is obviously my best mate. He has returned the favour and asked me to be his best man for his wedding in April. Naturally I was a tad peed off that he had arranged his wedding after I had mine arranged and for him having the cheek to do it before mine.

 

Anyways, I can't be too drunk off as he asked me to be his best man, fortunately we feel the same way about the speeches - "Keep it short" as neither of us really want to do it. Plus the stories we know about each other aren't really for public consumption at our weddings. So the story about Jonny trying to pull a prostitute at 4am in Las Vegas as he thought he was in with a chance with her isn't going to be told.

[leeslover]

It's not the bridesmaid, is it?

 

 

Course not, she only had eyes for me

[maddog]

I've also been called on for wedding duties. Isn't it supposed to be bad luck to be bridesmaid 3 times?

 

So my birthday weekend in newcastle will be taken up having dress fittings. Nice. I'd like to go to one where I just turn up in a nice outfit, no advance planning needed.

 

But that's in a couple of weeks.

 

For this weekend (including spending about 3 hours this evening at the airport cos I can get a free lift then).......

 

:rolleyes4: :sleeping2:

[leeslover]

I've also been called on for wedding duties. Isn't it supposed to be bad luck to be bridesmaid 3 times?

 

So my birthday weekend in newcastle will be taken up having dress fittings. Nice. I'd like to go to one where I just turn up in a nice outfit, no advance planning needed.

 

But that's in a couple of weeks.

 

For this weekend (including spending about 3 hours this evening at the airport cos I can get a free lift then).......

 

:rolleyes4: :sleeping2:

 

Three pints and nine halves and you are going to the toilet once? Not Fliping likely.

[JimiT]

Stipes, can I add a request for the original big 'un emailing? Cheers.

[leeslover]

Stipes, can I add a request for the original big 'un emailing? Cheers.

 

I'll forward it if you like Jimi, as Stipey has a gay email account (actually 2 of them, they might be a couple?) Shout if he is doing it as well.

[JimiT]

I'll forward it if you like Jimi, as Stipey has a gay email account (actually 2 of them, they might be a couple?) Shout if he is doing it as well.

 

Cheers LL, replied to one of them. Gonna take me ages to read all that, but it'll be well worth it.

[leeslover]

Cheers LL, replied to one of them. Gonna take me ages to read all that, but it'll be well worth it.

 

 

You'd get more sense out of a dishwasher manual written in Korean, but enjoy :trollarse: :toff: :smash: :thinking: :policeman: :flag006: :joker: :sick2: :laugh2: :violent095: :furious: :devil: :furious3:

[DerekWilson_1968]

Pre-conceptions of people.

 

I know, I know, we have done this before as well. Is there anything that hasn't been covered in the real biggie?

 

I'm not going to do it the same way as last time, though others should feel free to chuck in their ideas of what we are all like; though this time I am going to do it about people you have to interact with that you will never meet.

 

With this new (well not so new now) job I have to speak with people all over the world who are Colgate materials suppliers. Sometimes I just see the number and cringe whilst others I just plain enjoy speaking to.

 

Whichever way they make you react, does anyone else start to build up minds eye pictures of those they have to deal with on a day to day basis?

 

I am going to use a couple of examples to demonstrate the good and the bad.

 

I have to do a lot of work with an out-sourcing manufacturor in Preston, so while materials and schedules are being planned I have to speak with Angi (as she likes to call herself) everday a few times a day. Every time she rings me her opening gambit is 'Derek, it's me'.

 

What is that all about?

 

How bloody rude not to say hello first.

 

My minds eye picture of her is as a big, fat, greasy, ill mannered billy no mates for whom if (and how very unlikely) a bagful of interpersonal skills hit her between the eyes she wouldn't know what to do with them.

 

I have similar encounters with a few blokes from Germany (I don't have to deal with them very much thankfully) but I just imagine them to be Hitler and Hess.

 

Now, those of you that know me will know that I am far from a shrinking violet and have been known to vent my spleen, but in a work situation whilst working with other companies, it just wouldn't happen. With those in the same environment, certainly once in a while, but those that you rely upon to get your job done; well absolutely never.

 

On the flip side of the coin, I have to work with some, what I imagine to be, wonderful people as well.

 

There is a girl who works for BASF in Germany who is just so sweet on the phone. She is obviously English, and sounds very posh in a Thames Valley girl kind of way, but every time she rings she always says hello, asks how I am, says please and thank you constantly, asks how things are and what are my plans etc before getting to the actual point of the conversation. No matter how big the problem she has never ever rung without having used those few inter personal skills before getting to the point.

 

Just because of her niceness I always imagine her as slim, dark haired and very pretty.

 

The ones I am more impressed with though are the people that are obviously none English speaking natively. They try so hard to understand me, but never ever would turn round and expect me to speak to them in Italian or German.

 

Aurelio is a fab bloke, and everything I have ever asked of him he has tried to do, he is always polite and he reminds me in the way he speaks of Gianluca Vialli. I sort of imagine him to be a bit of a cheeky chappy sort of in the Nik mould who I would certainly get on with over a beer or several.

 

Now to my favourite person that I have to deal with, sometimes twenty or thirty times a day. Every week I have to order somewhere in the region of a half a million tonnes of materials from her. Daniela is fab to get along with, and despite the fact that my German has been on the decline since I was 6 or so, I still try to say my greetings to her in her native tongue. Her English is obviously far better than my German, but she appreciates the small effort I make so much so it makes her laugh on the phone, and I have to say that no matter how much I love this job, it is a little duller without having spoken to her. To be truthful I don't even have a minds eye picture of her other than one of those smiley, happy people that everyone likes to be around. She is lovely and a pleasure to work with.

 

This position is a little strange for me, as I am a temp worker, but I have built up some great relationships with people, customers, suppliers and colleagues. In the few months I have been there I have come on leaps and bounds skills wise, but I know there will be some people I am going to miss when it ends.

 

There are loads of others too, the people in Oz always sound happy whilst I am waking up as they are about to finish their day (Colgate is a massive company and the prestige that accompanies being a supplier means you keep people working until 10pm to sort problems in the UK) whilst the people in the States are always grumpy whilst my day is winding down.

 

If no one else gets this post, I reckon Stipey will.

 

Just a minds eye thing.

 

KtF,

 

Derek.

Edited February 9, 2007 by DerekWilson_1968

[StipeTripe]

If no one else gets this post, I reckon Stipey will.

 

Hmmmmmmmmm yes I think I know what you're getting at. To be honest I never build up minds eye pictures of people, whether it be folks on here whom I've never met, [but then I think its virtually impossible to categorise people from the written word], or people I've worked with over the years.

 

I hopeless at it, these days most of my suppliers are in the UK, most if not all are great to deal with, but I can'r really imagine what any of them look like. I actually gave up years ago when I used to speak to a guy in our sisietr company in Columbus,Ohio several times a day. I got this idea of what he was like, he sounded like the typical all American guy, one day our Americas sales guy came in with a brochure they'd produced in the US and there was a pic of my contact, he actually looked like Mr Burns from the Simpsons, seriously.

 

Actually I tell a lie, I have this vision that LL is a taller version of Rodney from Fools and Horses.

 

So LL, I do not have gay e mail, I have e mail that I discovered does not like large attachments, ahem, yes I could sign up to something else but I can't be arsed. The cahppie at Ntl told me I should be able to send 5-6Mb at one time, only it never seems to work.

 

 

Oh and weddings, fortunatley I've never had to do best manning, ushering and all that yes I have, but besty, no. Dunno what I'd do if I were called, the thought of standing up in front of a room full of people giving a speach is not something quite frankly I'd like to contemplate for too long. I did do second in command thingy at me sisters, where my Bro in laws brother was best man, and therefore was on hand to assist with the mad hatters tea party that is me Ma's family, thats as close a call as I want.

Edited February 9, 2007 by StipeTripe

[Lisa]

Morning all!!

 

I always have a picture in my mind of people I deal with at work and I rarely get it right It's true that the people who make the effort to talk about other things than business get a quicker response from me!! If poeple remeber to ask about my family it always makes me want to sort their problems quicker!!

 

I deal with people all over the world, quite rarely in the UK. One of the people I speak to mostly works in Columbus Ohio, and it always takes us 5 or 10 mins of talking music, travels etc before we get onto the dull insurance world! He's a fab person, spent hours looking into options for us to get from Las Vegas to San Francisco for a family holiday once yet I have never met this guy, I don't know what he looks like but I feel that I know a lot about him

 

People in Argentina are very friendlt on the phone but very ignorant wheneve I've met them. Dan nearly smacked a bloke at a conference last year that I'd organised, he came and grunted at me that some equipment wasn't working, no please or thankyou. I smiled sweetly, changed his things and sent him on his way. Dan couldn't believe that sone people seem to think women still have no place in business!!!

[Stevie_J]

So my birthday weekend in newcastle will be taken up having dress fittings. Nice. I'd like to go to one where I just turn up in a nice outfit, no advance planning needed.

 

There are far worse places to have a birthday night out!

[StipeTripe]

Morning all!!

 

One of the people I speak to mostly works in Columbus Ohio.

 

Dan couldn't believe that sone people seem to think women still have no place in business!!!

 

He isn't called fool Webber is he, this bloke that works in Colubus village ??

 

At the risk of a ...... Women have a vital role in business? Aye making brews, keeping the printer stocked wi......... :lol: :lol:

 

Gulp.

[Lisa]

He isn't called fool Webber is he, this bloke that works in Colubus village ??

 

At the risk of a ...... Women have a vital role in business? Aye making brews, keeping the printer stocked wi......... :lol: :lol:

 

Gulp.

No, he's not called that, works at a place called American Agricultural Insurance.

 

You forgot to mention making sure the biros in the stationery cupboard are all stocked up, and the colours are all kept together!

[StipeTripe]

No, he's not called that, works at a place called American Agricultural Insurance.

 

You forgot to mention making sure the biros in the stationery cupboard are all stocked up, and the colours are all kept together!

 

 

Oh well just thought small world and all that, what with Maddog bringing up the name of a lad wot worked for us in the footballers you know thread.

 

Oh aye forgot about pen tidying, you forgot stapler refilling, hole punch and shredder emptying, filing, photocopying...............

Edited February 9, 2007 by StipeTripe

[beag_teeets]

I am in the lucky position that they have just uploaded all the id photos on to the database so I spend half my time looking people up to see what they look like. If a student gets in touch called something like Tim Stratham-Smythe-Hawshawfotherington-Smith the mental image I get is of a chinless inbred born in to a life of luxury and priviledge. And you know what? In most case I am right.

 

If a female student with a name such as Elsbeth Felicity Jenkinson-Smythe-Bebbington crops up then the mental image is of a young filly who is full of natural charms and legs that just don't stop. And again, in most cases I am right.

 

Paula Wallace on the other hand looks like she models welders benches, I usually figure this out but can not resist just checking how cruel nature has been.

[Guest gillianfn]

Dan couldn't believe that sone people seem to think women still have no place in business!!!

 

 

Loads of them!!!!!!!!! I have worked in law firms over the years and without a word of a lie, there have been male partners who did not know the location of the kitchen!! FACT. ;)

 

I speak to many people on the phone that I tend not to build up mental pictures any more - I do have pics in my head of people on here though - and also the kids that my daughter is teaching in France - she tells me such funny stories about them and names them all, so I kind of have images of them in my head.

 

 

Got stopped by the police again today. Near the hospital, the lights were red, I had felt the car go on a couple of occasions on the ice, and I thought "if I brake hard here, I might end up in the back of someone" so I used my loaf and snuck up that little 6 foot of bus lane thingy. Good move Gill Nuttall. Police office coming the other way did a U turn and pulled me over.

 

I explained why I had done it, he said that was balls and he didn't believe me and in any event if it were true that I needed to take evasive action, then I was travelling too fast. He then read me the caution but said I wasn't under arrest, asked if the car was mine, said no so he checked it out. Then the cheeky steward of the bars asked if I had been in trouble many times before with the police. I said "Well, you'd struggle to fit my criminal record on a roll of wallpaper" Anyway I chatted him up and he let me off. I told him that if he had have given me a ticket I'd have defended it. He said "why what do you do?" I told him I work for a law firm and one of our specialist areas is licence work. To be fair he burst out laughing and said "I knew there was a reason I was going to let you go!"

 

As I got out of his car I resisted the temptation to say "Now then you tosser, why don't you go and catch some real criminals?" I resisted, not because I am a scaredy cat, but because I couldn't think of anything more original to say and let's face it, he has probably heard it a thousand times before.

:P

Edited February 9, 2007 by gillianfn