Jump to content

Worst Jokes Ever


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 82
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Q - What's got 8 legs and one eye?

A - 2 chairs and half a pigs head


That actually made me laugh... :blush:



Baby penguin walks into a bar and says, "Have you seen my Dad?"

Barman says, "Dunno, what's he look like?"


Patient: "Doctor, I've got a boil on me arse that looks like a strawberry."

Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."


"Waiter, this chicken's cold!"

"I'm not surprised, it's been dead two weeks."


What's big, square and white and swings through the jungle?

Tarzan the fridge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

* How do you know policemen are strong?

* Because they can hold up traffic.



* Why were the suspenders arrested?

* For holding up a pair of pants.



Two fish were in a tank. One said to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"


* What weapon is most feared by knights?

* A can opener.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

A: Cliff


What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

A: Doug


What do you call a man without a spade on his head?

A: Douglas


What did Saint Patrick say as he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?

A: You alright in the back there lads?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.


What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?



What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.


Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.


Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers.


What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?



Why don't blind people like to sky dive?

Because it scares the hell out of the dog.




Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two sausages in a pan. One says to the other "Cor, it's a bit hot in here isn't it?"

...The other says "Aaagh! A talking sausage!"




Two cows in a field. One says "Moo!"

The other says "I was about to say that"




A woodworm goes into a bar, and finds the bar tender.




Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It went down the road, and turned into a field!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Little lad answers the door and runs into the house shouting "dad,dad there's a man at the door with a bill"

Dad says,don't be stupid son it's probably a duck with a hat on.



White horse goes in to a pub,barman says 'ere we've got a drink named after you.Horse replies wot,Eric?



What's blue and square,a red triangle in disguise.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...