This is brilliant even by our standards, what happens when a players shirt gets ripped during a game just like Robbie Simpsons did against Liverpool? I've heard you get more than one shirt in prison and they don't just make one off H.M.P Kirkham shirts you know!
We can also put the press voucher thing to bed quite easily, just leave a box of tic tacs, some instant coffee and sugar, some kindling an old iron kettle and three matches in the press office. They can drink it out of their hats and if they take milk they will have to milk their own cow before they set off to Boundary Park.
Just a quick note Simon i run a Sunday league team and we wear kits made by Umbro, I can have a one off shirt made by Umbro in any size with the Dog And Partridge emblem name and number for the princely sum of £28.00.
Don't sign any more players FFS what shall we dress them in?