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The definitive Top 100 'You're Not Proper Oldham Unless......'


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Attending games is a bloody good one though...IMO.

Of course, but these are all relative.

If you have a girlfriend, live on Broadway, go shopping with her every Saturday, have no kids and spent £50 a week on booze and don't go then fair enough, rather than live a 12 hour round trip away, have a 2 year old kid, sodding great mortgage and virtually no disposable income I hope you get a bit of slack on the attending games side of things :wink:

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..unless you were at Ipswich for that game.

..unless you shook a bucket at the All Star game.

..went to Ian Woods testimonial.

..saw AlanGroves play.

..saw Carl Valentine play.

 

Just to show I am proper Oldham fan, because I was ruled out after about the 2nd post otherwise!

Changed ends at half time by passing under the clock in the broadway stand.

Watching Ronnie Blairs disallowed goal against the red b*****ds.

threw into the sheet collection for the floodlight fund & saw the top of the league

(currently premier league) winners Burnley in the official opening match.

seeing Grovesy getting kicked to f**k at bournemouth & still getting m.o.t.m.

seeing Grovesy sitting on the ball pretending to tie his laces absolute p**s take.

Walking down Wembley Way to see Joe Royles aces.

Seen the likes of Pheonix.Bazley & Swan 'eee' them where good old days.

'The best ever Sir Bobby Johnstone'

Watching Laurie Sheffield try to score from the half way line 'with a header'

Walking with the rest of the puddled crew (only joking) to save the 'Tics'

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Changed ends at half time by passing under the clock in the broadway stand.

Watching Ronnie Blairs disallowed goal against the red b*****ds.

threw into the sheet collection for the floodlight fund & saw the top of the league

(currently premier league) winners Burnley in the official opening match.

seeing Grovesy getting kicked to f**k at bournemouth & still getting m.o.t.m.

seeing Grovesy sitting on the ball pretending to tie his laces absolute p**s take.

Walking down Wembley Way to see Joe Royles aces.

Seen the likes of Pheonix.Bazley & Swan 'eee' them where good old days.

'The best ever Sir Bobby Johnstone'

Watching Laurie Sheffield try to score from the half way line 'with a header'

Walking with the rest of the puddled crew (only joking) to save the 'Tics'

 

 

Seen Two Scoreboards in the RRE

 

(and both working)

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So where down to about 3 people already :)

I reckon I can knock one or two off that with just one bite of the cherry...

 

You're not a proper Oldham fan if you didn't go to Torquay vs Oldham, League Cup 2nd round 2nd leg, 9 October 1991.

 

(We were 7-1 up after the 1st leg... <_< ).

 

I was on the one fans coach that went. We got there before the team, and had to direct Joe to the front door of the ground, teamsheet in hand, about half an hour before kick off! :lol:

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Gotten drunk before 8pm thanks to starting early because of Oldham

PM????

 

You’ve had 3 pies in the course of one match day

Got home a day late from a match

Been crushed against the barriers in a Chaddy End surge

Sustained a random injury attending a game

 

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When was there two ? :blink:

 

You may not remember it but the really old scorebord (like me) before the new all singing dancing one (as was)

 

Try 50s 60s when fans supported their teams in all matters and not moaned about their club all the time

 

Rant Over

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if you didnt wait for the half time gates to open to get in when your skint.

If you didnt travel on the open top bus from (insert estate here) to BP.

If you werent at the Civic Centre after promotion.

If you never saw Ernie Cooksey.

if you dont remember the corrugated fencing at Port Vale.

If you didnt see Francis Benali score the most wonderful headed own goal down at the dell! (he scored 3 in 2 weeks i believe)

If you dont know what Normid Superstore represents!

if you didnt get to play on the plastic pitch

if you never stood on the concrete holding the floodlights in the RRE

if you bought a season ticket and said "this is our season!"

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You're not proper Oldham unless you have queued for the Pink Final after getting home from the game

GREEN Final Prozac. Edited and printed at the Chron office, Not that pink United loving crap produced in Manchester.

 

Anyway, You're not proper Oldham if:

You didn't walk to Maine Rd to watch Latics dump Northwich Victoria out of the cup (Vic Halom - King of all Geordies!)

 

You didn't get interviewed on Sky after the 3-2 win at Ayresome Park and still get back to Oldham for last orders (120mph all the way)

 

You didn't see Graham Bell streak through the offices after a (Sadly forgotten) decisive victory. Ginger pubes always look false!

 

You weren't one of Harry Wood's <ahem!> "Helpers".

 

 

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you haven't ran through moss side bricking it after another tics 3 points, because the stupid coach driver parked on princess parkway

You haven't been a ballboy

you haven't got home at 6 in the morning from southampton because a barlows coach had 2 punctures.

You haven't been punched by Steve Cherry whilst he played for Plymouth - early 80s

you've never come back on a coach from some 4/5 hour away trip with no beer left, rough and minging headache, due to drinking from 8am

You haven't scored through wembley on soccer am (or done the catwalk!) :clown: (Awaits bigfin)

 

 

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you have spoken to Diego Cervero in the Chaddy End.

you have Diego Cervero's email address.

you have had the Ernie Flag in your spin dryer and on your washing line.

you have a stained glass window depicting the owl and ball from the OAFC badge.

you own a bottle of Ritchie Cola from Scarborough.

you own a bit ot the plastic pitch.

You own a can of J.W. Lees Littlewoods Cup Final brew.

you own a bottle of Andy Ritchie wine.

you own a Andy Ritchie yo-yo.

you own a statue of a Latics player in 1950s kit.

you flew with the team to Genoa.

you travelled with the team from the hotel to the stadium in Ancona.

you have sponsored Andy Ritchie.

you own a framed painting print of a game underway at BP with Latics beating ManUre 1-0.

you talked to Alan Williams on the concourse under the stand at Wembley before the Littlewoods Cup Final.

you have run to Tandle Hill with the players.

you have been on a tour of BP.

you spent all night in Furtherwood Road queuing for Liverpool tickets for the first game in the top flight for 68 years.

you were successful in the draw for tickets at Old Trafford when only a few away fans were accommodated.

you saw Latics play at Hartlepool pre-season.

you have played bar football with Craig Dudley.

you saw Neil Tolson score at Minehead.

you ate an out-of-date pasty at Minehead.

you have drunk with the players in Quids Inn, Douglas, Isle of Man.

you have touched Bloomfield Bear's missing boot.

you have caught the ball during a match.

you have got away with time-wasting with the ball during a match.

you attended the adjourned Planning Committee meeting.

you attended the Administrator's CVA meeting.

you lived next door but two to the mother of Latics player Billy Hilton.

you know the second verse of 'Andy Ritchie's magic'.

you heard Jimmy Frizzell call Latics yard dogs live on GMR.

you saw Simon Corney interviewing Glen Roeder in the Clayton Green.

you have been allowed into BP and given a cup of tea by Alan Hardy instead of queuing in the cold for Chasetown tickets.

you have the Piccadilly Radio tape of the Stuart Pike commentary in the Sheffield Wednesday game.

You own a copy of the Roger Rap.

you were in the pub at Newport with the Eintracht Frankfurt fans before the game at Cardiff.

you have been telephoned by Joe Royle.

you own some of the blue and white police tape from the stand at Ipswich when promotion was won.

you have been the subject of an article in the official programme.

you were........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

refused service in the Blue Boar pub in Southend. B)

Edited by Diego_Sideburns
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