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The definitive Top 100 'You're Not Proper Oldham Unless......'


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you haven't got home at 6 in the morning from southampton because a barlows coach had 2 punctures.

I was on that coach! Sat a row or two back from the driver ... all I'm saying is it's a good job he managed to hold on - and that the coned off lane was empty - or we might have been complaining about a bit more than a puncture! :shock:

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you were in the pub at Newport with the Eintracht Frankfurt fans before the game at Cardiff.

Was that the time they suddenly unfolded a large collapsable table on the car park, filled it with two dozen shot glasses, and broke out a couple of bottles of fiery schnapps?

 

Very hospitable of them, I thought.

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you haven't ran through moss side bricking it after another tics 3 points, because the stupid coach driver parked on princess parkway

You haven't been a ballboy

you haven't got home at 6 in the morning from southampton because a barlows coach had 2 punctures.

You haven't been punched by Steve Cherry whilst he played for Plymouth - early 80s

you've never come back on a coach from some 4/5 hour away trip with no beer left, rough and minging headache, due to drinking from 8am

You haven't scored through wembley on soccer am (or done the catwalk!) :clown: (Awaits bigfin)

I think me and my mate were the only ones to get back on the Ste Waller Booze Bus without a black eye that day :grin:

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IIRC it was before it was announced that Shez had got the job. They were in the conservatory part and Roeder's agent was sat in the pub part.

 

Interesting. IIRC Sheridan was appointed with immediate effect after Moore was sacked, so either the club were interviewing other managers before Ronnie was given the push or Diego has made an error. Either situation is a shocking one :wink:

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I think me and my mate were the only ones to get back on the Ste Waller Booze Bus without a black eye that day :grin:

You could always rely on Wallerways (Stuarts Coaches) to park in the most dangerous places. Usually it was due to arriving with two minutes to kick off, after a strong lunchtime session somewhere en route. :drinking45:

Edited by outoftheblue
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I was on that coach! Sat a row or two back from the driver ... all I'm saying is it's a good job he managed to hold on - and that the coned off lane was empty - or we might have been complaining about a bit more than a puncture! :shock:

It wasn't good was it... :lol:

I'd forgotten that we were close to his top speed of 42!!! when it occured :shock:

We were sat on the back seat, when 2 miles out of southampton, my mate :sick01: all over himself and we were sploshing in it for the remaining 8 hours home!! :ranting:

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I think me and my mate were the only ones to get back on the Ste Waller Booze Bus without a black eye that day :grin:

Me and my 3 mates also escaped :grin: hobbling back, a brick (big stone?!?) in each hand for protection with a certain nameless chap who was on crutches, due to an unsavoury incident a couple of weeks previous at deepdale!! :angry:

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It wasn't good was it... :lol:

I'd forgotten that we were close to his top speed of 42!!! when it occured :shock:

We were sat on the back seat, when 2 miles out of southampton, my mate :sick01: all over himself and we were sploshing in it for the remaining 8 hours home!! :ranting:

In fact, didn't we have an impromtu game of football in the coned off lanes of the motorway while the tyre was being replaced?

 

Not the ideal place - in the dark - with traffic passing at 70mph... :lol:

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Interesting. IIRC Sheridan was appointed with immediate effect after Moore was sacked, so either the club were interviewing other managers before Ronnie was given the push or Diego has made an error. Either situation is a shocking one :wink:

 

I did make an error. :blush: I love conspiracy theories but there was nothing going on behind Shez's back. I knew it wasn't when Ronnie Moore was appointed so presumed it must have been Shez, so that's why I said IIRC.

 

It was actually when Talbot was appointed and Roeder was out of work after his West Ham experience.

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You were one of those locked out of Blackpool in 97

You have had at any point owned/part owned your own flag and got it on tv

You sang proudley that you were part of Brian Talbots/Ronnie Moores/Graeme Sharps/Neil Warnocks blue and white armies.

You thought Matthew Tipton would play in the premiership.

 

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...you still own a Frankie Bunny (obviously minus the easter egg it came with)

...you played on the plastic pitch

...you saw the plastic pitch being put down (and you have a piece on that marble slab)

...you remember when the main stand had all those 'corporate' windows

...you can still remember word for word all the commentary for the goals in the 90 cup run

...when posters on here claim it's the worst performance ever you immediately remember worse ones from years ago!

 

...you were one of those that got in at Blackpool '97! (and moved 2 rows forward when the terrace crumbled away under your feet)

Edited by lookers87
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You haven't scored through wembley on soccer am (or done the catwalk!) :clown: (Awaits bigfin)

 

:lol:

 

Here you go.... waiting for it... you know you want it....

 

...OR you haven't scored two goals on the Road to Rome on Soccer AM! :who:

 

And a few others... some OASIS influenced.....

 

...You haven't lied through your teeth to your other half when you arrive home 6 hours late.. claiming you got 'kept behind by the police due to crowd trouble'

...You saw Lee Hughes' first goal at bournemouth....

...and his hat-trick at Millwall...

...You haven't sat un the Man Utd end at the 'ian wright cup final' wearing a latics shirt with your dad, because you had already bought your tickets for the final...

...attempted to drink 4 pints in 15 minutes before the game... even when you are 5 minutes away from the ground...

...Sat on the front wall of the Lookers paddock with your mates eating Klix

...Taken a stool to stand on in the chaddy so you could see latics batter Aston Villa in the FA Cup...

...cried at a home game, because you had forgotten what it was like to lose at home (Sheff Utd :disappointed:)

...Played Subbuteo against leeds Utd kids on a Junior Latics trip to elland road...

...been at the Bescott to watch Earl Barrett play for England B - and get a torrent of a bust from hammers fans cos it was a week after 'that' game.

...Chanted the Gary Mac song whilst been followed by mini-scouse chavs walking back to liverpool city centre...

...Ripped open your best latics tracksuit, whilst trying to impress super Jon Hallworth diving on the astro-turf during the latics summer soccer schools..

...Had a happy birthday message on the scoreboard...

...Been in the 'chronicle lounge' for free. lots.

...stood in the Rochdale road end... whilst it has pissed it down.

 

...Walked down sheepfoot lane and heard 'They might be giants - Birdhouse in my soul' coming out of BP, and got really excited... as you know you were going to batter whoever you were playing that day... :)

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You're not proper Oldham if u didnt endure the coach home from Norwich on relegation from the Prem day because it was still mathematically possible to stay up..... when i say mathematically possible the love child of Carol Vorderman and Stephen Hawking might have managed to work it out..... but you went anyway.

 

You're not proper Oldham if u havent clung to the rear fence in the chaddy that seperated us from the wooden section but wasnt high enough to prevent everybody throwing their litter and cig butts under the stand anyway (deep breath) and twisted your ankle juming off again.

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You've been on an OASIS minbus with police outriders to get you to a game on time

You've begged a ticket from Ian Stott at half time in the 1990 FA Cup semi-final replay after spending six hours on the motorway

You've stood on Reading West station with 14 bags of chips

You've asked for a vegetarian meal in the box at BP and watched them wash the gravy off the plate

 

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...You saw Lee Hughes' first goal at bournemouth....

...and his hat-trick at Millwall...

 

...Had a happy birthday message on the scoreboard...

 

...you saw Lee Hughes score his first goal for Latics Reserves at Shrewsbury.

...you had a happy birthday message on the scoreboard at the Baseball Ground before beating Derby with a Roger Palmer goal.

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You've seen chris hall (actor, thesbian and former failed footballer) sat on by a stripper after being a human beat box (joined by a N Trotman)

Will Haining and Andy Liddell in a white pvc nurses' outfit trying to get into a pair of strippers drawers!

Seen Ron futchers White y fronts on his 30th birthday celebrations in an unusual 5-4 away defeat at Huddersfield Town (unusual, in that the 1st 4 games we hadn't let a goal in that season!!)

 

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...you were one of those that got in at Blackpool '97! (and moved 2 rows forward when the terrace crumbled away under your feet)

so that stand was as awful as i remember it....how the hell did they manage to get a safety certificate for that sh*thole?

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