dave_ragg1984 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I was once dating these two anorexic girls. Two birds, one stone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Paddy goes to the bank for a loan and the teller says to him "I'm sorry but the loan arranger isn't in today" Paddy replies "OK, I'll speak to Tonto if he's in" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 Paddy goes to the bank for a loan and the teller says to him "I'm sorry but the loan arranger isn't in today" Paddy replies "OK, I'll speak to Tonto if he's in" Jeez!......and you gave me the Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy_Fent Posted January 17, 2011 Share Posted January 17, 2011 Smart Cars....giving false hope in car parks since 1998 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Gary Glitter is in talks to become the new Aston Villa manager after finding out that the strikers are Young and Bent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Gary Glitter is in talks to become the new Aston Villa manager after finding out that the strikers are Young and Bent (and there's the potential of one being Keane). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe_lead Posted January 19, 2011 Share Posted January 19, 2011 Some universities have Women Studies, but no Men Studies. That's pretty sexist, but then I realised we do have Men Studies. It's called History. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 (edited) Mr Tickle has found the girl of his dreams , however tess is reluctant 2 marry him as she didnt want to inherit his name What did roy walker say when he was shagging his sister?.............. "Its good, but its not right"! Edited January 20, 2011 by razza699 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe_lead Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 The lead actor in the local pantomime Aladdin was sexually abused from behind on stage last night. To be fair, the audience did try to warn him...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought: "Those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJazzer Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 It's been 3 hours since my prostate exam. I'm not sure what is more disturbing, having a Doctor up in me like that, or realizing 20 seconds ago that he had both hands on my shoulders during it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJazzer Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 A sports reporter asked David Beckham about his move to Spurs. "You have only played for one English club, are you worried about the stick?" Beckham replied, "No she will be ok, she loves London!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueJazzer Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection". But she did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creepy Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 My last girlfriend was a screamer. Well she wasn't really my girlfriend. Maybe that's why she was screaming Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creepy Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 my girlfriends just come round, I told her to wipe that blood of her face and pass me a beer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Shall we just post a link to sickipedia? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creepy Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Shall we just post a link to sickipedia? haha sickipedia? never heard of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Paddy and Mick are driving down a country road and Paddy says "look at that flock of cows over there".. Mick says "herd of cows you feckin idiot" Paddy says "course i've heard of cows you :censored:......... theres a flock of them over there!!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 haha sickipedia? never heard of it Enjoy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 As a woman passes her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked: "What in the world are you doing?!" The daughter replied: "Mom, I'm 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!" The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator. To his query as to what she was doing, The daughter replied: "Dad, I'm 32 years old, unmarried, and this is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. So please go away and leave me alone!" A couple of days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from, of all places, the living room? She entered, and observed her husband sitting on the couch, sipping a cold beer, and staring at the TV. The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy. The wife asked: "What are you doing?" The husband replied: "I'm watching football with my son-in-law". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creepy Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Enjoy i was joking Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 £14 for xmas dinner that feeds 4 people... that's why mums go to iceland, £10 for an 18year old on your nob all day... that's why dads go to thailand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I think you can tell when a girl's too young for you when you have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downender2 Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 I think you can tell when a girl's too young for you when you have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth. :censored: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 26, 2011 Share Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) Manchester United's dressing room minutes before kick off in the derby; "Right I want 110% effort from the word go against this blue :censored:. Remember the did us on the anniversary of Munich. If you don't win, those cockney at Chelsea will have 6 points on us. Now I don't care if you kick, punch or head-butt your way to victory, you must win this. Good luck." Then Sir Alex walks in and says, "Thanks ref, I'll take it from here." Edited January 26, 2011 by boboafc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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