OldhamSheridan Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Apple have scrapped their plans for a new children's iPod. Apparently, 'iTouch Kids' would only appeal to Middlesbrough fans and Catholic priests. It has emerged that Alex Higgins wanted to be buried on the sofa he had spent his last year on, but the undertakers couldn't get it in the hearse…………so he went in off two cushions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 It has emerged that Alex Higgins wanted to be buried on the sofa he had spent his last year on, but the undertakers couldn't get it in the hearse…………so he went in off two cushions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 a blacksmith buys a dog ,and takes it home .but as soon as he lets the dog go its makes a bolt for the door Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 a blacksmith buys a dog ,and takes it home .but as soon as he lets the dog go its makes a bolt for the door :petesake: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zorrro Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 That's bloody rich!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 That's bloody rich!! heard that joke on magic 1152 today Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 ouch Hard rain? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 Hard rain? no just stubbed my toe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted August 3, 2010 Share Posted August 3, 2010 no just stubbed my toe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oafc-latics Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 (edited) im josef fritzl and no windows was my idea So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Edited August 8, 2010 by oafc-latics Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downender2 Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 My Girlfriend said to me last night, "You only want sex when you're pissed" I said, "No, sometimes I want a kebab too" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 9, 2010 Share Posted August 9, 2010 My Girlfriend said to me last night, "You only want sex when you're pissed" I said, "No, sometimes I want a kebab too" thats no joke its reality Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place..' He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!' THERE'S MORE. .. Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. 'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!' IT IS NOT OVER YET... Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 13, 2010 Share Posted August 13, 2010 A man sits on a train with 3 babies. A lady asks him " Are they yours?" he answers "No mam,I'm a condom rep... these are customer complaints!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 new road sign in leeds Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beardy Posted August 15, 2010 Share Posted August 15, 2010 You know when you wish you had never clicked on a thread??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 16, 2010 Share Posted August 16, 2010 You know when you wish you had never clicked on a thread??? here is 1you might like ....the police found the bodies of 5 people drowned in their bathtubs filled with milk and cornflakes. They think it's the work of a "cereal" killer!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about,. 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us. Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening. The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read............... You'll like this............... NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garcon Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 blame my cousin she sent it me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 A lesbian went for a smear test and the doctor told her, "That's the cleanest vagina I've seen!" The lesbian replied, "Yes, I have a woman in twice a week!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Paddy and his wife were discussing their sex life. Paddy said, "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight." His wife asked, "What is that?" Paddy told her, "You bend over, put your hands on the floor then I pick your legs up and take you from behind!" His wife said, "Hmm, okay, I'll do it on two conditions. First, if it hurts you stop immediately and, second, ... we don't go down past my mother's house!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 I feel sorry for the McCanns. Maddie being The Stig was their last hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted September 4, 2010 Share Posted September 4, 2010 I feel sorry for the McCanns. Maddie being The Stig was their last hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Posted September 15, 2010 Share Posted September 15, 2010 I tell my wife I'm gonna f**k her tits and she says "Awww, how are you gonna make that feel good for me babe?", and I say "Y'know right before I c*m, I'll stop f**kin' punching you in the face." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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