Lee Sinnott Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 I've had a terrible childhood.........My dad was a paedophile and my mum died when she was 12. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roger Ritchie Posted December 29, 2010 Share Posted December 29, 2010 I've had a terrible childhood.........My dad was a paedophile and my mum died when she was 12. What are invisible and smell like bananas? Monkey burps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Sinnott Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Just asked my handicapped girlfriend to go Downs on me........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futchers briefs Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 Elton John is said to be delighted at becoming a father. Finally there's someone in the house with less hair and a leakier areshole than his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldhamSheridan Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Sinnott Posted December 30, 2010 Share Posted December 30, 2010 I was gonna post a joke about a dustbin........but it's rubbish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 Roy Hodgson, was seen driving out of Anfield very fast, can of stella in hand no seat belt beeping his horn...omg this guy will do anything for 3 points Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 Wife tells husband 'I'm leaving you because you love football more than me', Husband says 'don't be rediculous, we've been together for 6 seasons' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stebuzz Posted January 1, 2011 Author Share Posted January 1, 2011 Wife tells husband 'I'm leaving you because you love football more than me', Husband says 'don't be rediculous, we've been together for 6 seasons' in scouseland wife tells husband I AM LEAVING YOU BECAUSE YOU LOVE LIVERPOOL MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME. HUSBAND , listen darling, i love everton more than i love you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 1, 2011 Share Posted January 1, 2011 The police came to my front door last night holding a photo of my wife. They said '' Is this your wife sir? '' Shocked i answered '' yes '' They said '' I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus '' I said '' I know, but she has a lovely personality '' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100milesaway Posted January 8, 2011 Share Posted January 8, 2011 My daughter wants a watch for christmas, so me and the wife are going to let her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy_Fent Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Land fill is just rubbish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Roy Hodgson, was seen driving out of Anfield very fast, can of stella in hand no seat belt beeping his horn...omg this guy will do anything for 3 points did you make that up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy_Fent Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) I have six words for you The wife says she's leaving me because I think more of football than I think of her, I'm going to miss her, we've been together nearly four seasons Edited January 12, 2011 by Tommy_Fent Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 The RSPCA are investigating after 11 donkeys in blackpool were badly beaten! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Sinnott Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I tried to catch some fog yesterday...........Mist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Two indian heroin addicts have injected curry powder by mistake...both are in intensive care One has a dodgy tikka and the other is in a korma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 The Pope is handing out miracles in Liverpool..Billy walks on stage and asks.." can you help with my hearing ?" the pope says.." yes of course I can " and puts his hands over Billy's ears, he then prays, removes his hands and says.. " how is your hearing now ?" and Billy answers.. " I dont know its not til next week !" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous_Tic Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I've just resigned from my job at the helium factory. I won't stand for being spoken to in that tone of voice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 The RSPCA are investigating after 11 donkeys in blackpool were badly beaten! but when have they been badly beaten ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boboafc Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 The Pope is handing out miracles in Liverpool..Billy walks on stage and asks.." can you help with my hearing ?" the pope says.." yes of course I can " and puts his hands over Billy's ears, he then prays, removes his hands and says.. " how is your hearing now ?" and Billy answers.. " I dont know its not til next week !" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
razza699 Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 thats 10 times better than some of the :censored:e ones youve posted on here bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 but when have they been badly beaten ? I think it was aimed more at the scousers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lee Sinnott Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Oh, the irony of you posting that Robert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steveoafc Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Two dwarfs pick up two girls and take them to adjoining rooms in an hotel. The first dwarf though is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that he keeps hearing cries of '' Here i come again...one,two, three UUH! all night long from the adjoining room. In the morning the second dwarf asks his mate '' How was it? '' '' Embarassing '' explains the first dwarf '' i couldn't get an erection! '' '' You think that's bad ? '' says the second '' I couldn't get on the :censored:in' bed! '' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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