yarddog Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 As we are yet to go through the process and trauma of selecting a new manager, I thought I would offer some advice incase this was the weak link in the process. Questions to ask. What formation would you base your squad around? Do you have a regular supply from a scouting network? Are you attack or defensive ? Questions not to ask: Who do you think will win the F.A cup ? Do you think David Beckham looks good for his age? How many keepie uppies can you do? Anybody else got any suggestions to help the case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue_Guru Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you over 5 foot 3? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
24hoursfromtulsehill Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you willing to pay? If yes: "The candidate impressed in the interview. He was my No. 1 choice from the beginning." Something leaks out about a masterful powerpoint shindig. If no: "He's an old school manager whose time has passed." Something leaks out about excessive demands and a superior attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youngen Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 As we are yet to go through the process and trauma of selecting a new manager, I thought I would offer some advice incase this was the weak link in the process. Questions to ask. What formation would you base your squad around? Do you have a regular supply from a scouting network? Are you attack or defensive ? Questions not to ask: Who do you think will win the F.A cup ? Do you think David Beckham looks good for his age? How many keepie uppies can you do? Anybody else got any suggestions to help the case? Are you Carl Winchester? If yes then the job is yours, forever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz_Oafc Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 "Can I borrow your mobile and have a scroll through your contacts?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singe Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Have you got a 100 day plan? Lets see you dossier on every player? How many games did you attend annonymously? Was your Dad a manager? Did you used to hide in skips to listen to team talks? Define Due Dilligence? What constitutes "not disrupting the team"? Do you have any relatives working for Her Majesty's Prison Service? Edited March 3, 2015 by singe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deyres42 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you Paul Scholes? Are you sure you aren't Paul Scholes? Are you a millionaire? Do you know any millionaires? Do you have a criminal record? If you answered 'NO' to all of the above then with regret we will be unable to proceed with your application at this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) Have you got a 100 day plan? Answer: I have a 1,000 day plan, give me a 3 years contract to see it through. Lets see you dossier on every player? Answer: I have a dossier on every player in the world, would you like to read through it now? How many games did you attend anonymously? Answer: Every game, I sit with the main stand moaners. I gain lots of insight from them. Was your Dad a manager? Yes, he managed very well thanks. Did you used to hide in skips to listen to team talks? Answer: Yes, and in the broom cupboard, those spiders want shifting. Define Due Diligence? Answer: It's when diligence is due What constitutes "not disrupting the team"? Answer: Easy, they would only see me on matchdays. Do you have any relatives working for Her Majesty's Prison Service? Answer: No, but I had one who was a chainmaker in San Quentin. Have I got the job? Edited March 3, 2015 by BP1960 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
palmer1 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you willing to pay? If yes: "The candidate impressed in the interview. He was my No. 1 choice from the beginning." Something leaks out about a masterful powerpoint shindig. If no: "He's an old school manager whose time has passed." Something leaks out about excessive demands and a superior attitude. Where have you got this supposed commonly known fact from (even though you are the only one I have ever heard mention it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeslover Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you over 40 years of age? Do you pay VAT on your clothes? Are you on the square? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simoncorneyisgod Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you on Twitter? Do you have any rallying cries you would like to give to fans that start with a hashtag? Do you like to slag off individual players in the media then after getting threatened with a smack in the chops decide the best course of action is to when getting mullered say that the players gave their all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joe_lead Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 How many pies should we order on a cold Tuesday evening, given an expected home crowd of between 2900 and 3200? True or False, cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? What is the longest time a club has remained in the 3rd tier of the English Football League, and what do we need to do to ensure we surpass it? Where do all the baby pigeons live? Did Noah keep woodpeckers on his Ark, and if he did where did he keep them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosa Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Would you rather have legs for arms or arms for legs? Would you rather have a duck the size of an elephant or a hundred elephants the size of ducks? (Asda genuinely ask this at interviews. The correct answer is a hundred elephants the size of ducks.) Katie Hopkins: shag or die? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChaddySmoker Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Are you Carl Winchester? If yes then the job is yours, forever If you are Carl Winchester how many hours can you work in a typical day before you need a lie down? 45 minutes FFS!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simoncorneyisgod Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 What's you're favourite Cheese? What are your thoughts on ex policemen having a say on our player recruitment policy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beag_teeets Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Would you rather have legs for arms or arms for legs? Would you rather have a duck the size of an elephant or a hundred elephants the size of ducks? (Asda genuinely ask this at interviews. The correct answer is a hundred elephants the size of ducks.) Katie Hopkins: shag or die? Not always, what if you needed an elephant sized duck? What if you needed to create a thai duck red curry to feed a large number of people? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 (edited) n/t Edited March 3, 2015 by BP1960 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BP1960 Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 "Would you like to buy the club?..If so the jobs yours as from now". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disjointed Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Q. If your team was performing well, playing with confidence and looking assured at the back, would you replace the goalkeeper at the risk of ruining it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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